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Relationship Health Message Board

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Hi, I'm a 23 yr old female that has a boyfriend of two years. We broke up during this time for about a 4 month period. During that time frame, we began seeing each other and sleeping with each other again and what I thought was leading back to a relationship. Well, one day after a very good date, bunches of "I love you's", etc. he stopped answering my phone calls and did not call me. A week later, after much desperation and confusion and crying, I found out he had another girlfriend. Eventually, they broke up and he and I have been back together for another year. We were living in separate apartments and were planning on moving in together. Two weeks before we were to move in together, he broke up with me. Just like that. I was not expecting it at all. Well, during that time, I began hanging out with new friends, and when he felt me pulling away from him, he said he wanted to get back together. Here's the deal: I'm extremely insecure and scared now. One of the friends that we hang out with began working with him a month or so ago. I was jealous at first, and now I seem to have a big problem with it. (The girl he left me for before was a coworker). I went to a happy hour the other night with him and his coworkers. I don't drink much, and I had not eaten that day, and I got extremely, extremely drunk in a short amount of time. I became outrageously jealous at the bar b/c he was talking to a female coworker that I had not met yet and was new to the company. I don't remember much about the night, but once we left, I couldn't stop crying or yelling at him, etc. It got so bad, that I hit him. I said a lot of hurtful things, etc. There is no excuse for hitting anybody. That is for sure. Thankfully, he didn't decide to hit back. Anyways, I'm having lots of problems dealing with this insecurity. I know one of the things that contributes is the fact that he doesn't really compliment me. I am a fairly pretty female. I know this, but when I dress up for him, I don't get compliments, etc. I buy little "outfits" to wear in front of him so that maybe he will respond to me the way most guys would, but he acts indifferent. (He's not gay) In my mind, I think that he wants someone else not like me...someone tiny, I'm 5'5 125 lbs, but I think he wants someone smaller like his ex, etc. I want him to really respond to me, and I don't want to be scared that he will just drop me like before. I've tried discussing all this with him, but he doesn't like to hear it. I'm just so hurt by the things he did before. I need to get past it. What can I do? Does anyone have these similiar feelings/fears? It is ruining our relationship. Please help me!!

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