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I dunno. Maybe I"ll just go out tonight and tell him point blank that I am not going to be in a relationship with a demmanding possessive person. I will not answer his 50 questions everytime I move, I will not check in with him before I do something, I will not let him tell me where I can and cannot go. I will not let him tell me when I can hang out with my friends or not. If he doesn't want to play that way then it's over. (is that being too harsh?)[/QUOTE]

NO. Your not being too harsh, those things are expected from a normal relationship. The fact that you wonder if your being too harsh makes me think your not quite ready to give this ultimatum. He'll likely cry, whine and bargain like his life depends on it until you soften.

I know you want your old boyfriend back, but do you really think it's possible at this point? If you went back, it might be good again, initially. Then he'd be the same controlling, insecure guy always mad and jealous when you're out w/your friends. In his mind, he sees you as CHOSING your friends over him, you can't reason with that and will likely always be fighting about it.

Look, this guy reminds me of a kid at an amusement park who begs to stay and stay until it closes then has to be dragged out screaming.
Same thing when you spend time w/him, when it's time to leave and he goes off. It's not that you've led him on. He knows your not sure about the future. Don't blame yourself, you shouldn't have to draw him a picture, you've moved out and have made it clear you're not moving back out there, OR if you even want to live w/him (if he moves to be w/you) in short-- he's desperate! It's the way he operates, he cries and begs you to come over, then fights to keep you from leaving. He's too self-absorbed to see it will backfire, you'll avoid going over there because it's a such a hassle to leave. Now the crying has lost it's impact, so he's moved up to punching walls. What is the point of going over there? I just don't see any room for negotiating. Everytime you give in and go to see him, he runs with it. You can't find any middle ground. So, maybe a clean break?? No contact for awhile-- think about it. It seems all your doing now is reacting to him. If you decide on no contact, don't think he'll stick to it, just be prepared.
Well I went down to the camp over the weekend. Friday I went to bed quiet early because it is very boring down there for me, then I left Sat. early to go shopping with his mom and sis-in-law, and didn't get back until 9:00 that night. THen went to bed around 9:30.

Sunday started off good, we got up and he made me breakfast, we went for a ride through the woods for about an hour, then returned to the camp. Then he hinted about being intimate (which for the record had happened sat. night), and I didn't bite, because there were people there (!!!), so he got into another snit,

I had enough and told him that his sulking and snits are getting him no where. I thought that the other day when he got into a little snit because he didn't get his own way was ridiculas, and that It's getting on my nerves. I said that the more he begs and gets mad when he doesn't get it, the more it turns me off. IT also turns me off that he is so completely insecure, when he's always crying when I leave, and when I tell him that I love him he always says "i hope so" , and that is doing nothing good for the relationship.

He cried more, and told me how sorry he was over and over and over, and agreed that it was stupid, etc. He will try his hardest not to do that anymore, etc etc.

......................................i hope so............

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