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I've been following your post but haven't replied until now. My heart really broke for you when your relationship ended and I understood your pain because just like most people, I also have been in a similar situation.
What struck me as odd was the pattern that you've established. You were the one to start questioning this relationship. You had doubts, you expressed them to your boyfriend. This caused him to have doubts also and as soon as he indicated he wanted the relationship over, you mentioned that you loved him with all your heart, knew 100% that you wanted to be with him. Less than a week later, you met someone else that is stirring thoughts and/or feelings in your mind. Then he wants you back and now you are not so sure of your feelings. It's crystal clear. You only want him when he doesn't want you. You don't want to be with him. Not really. If you did, you never would have expressed doubts to begin with... but, giving you the benefit of the doubt, everyone gets cold feet to a certain extent. IF after having been faced with the possibility of loosing him forever you still are not sure you want to be with him, then I think you know that he is not the right person for you. If he was, you would jump into each other's arms and be together right now, laughing at how silly you both were to ever doubt your love and your future. I think if you were to go back to him you would come across a similar scenario in the future. Plus, how can you possibly trust him not to do this again?[/QUOTE]

I agree with you to an extent. The reason I wanted space was to make myself realize that I either has to let go of my "keeping him at a distance" thing, or leave. And I returned back to him (without knowing that he was having doubts) ready to be with him 100%. He cheated on me about 6 months prior to this, and I see nothing wrong with being a little unsure about what I wanted. So I took time to think to become sure.

So I was ready to be with him. Then he tells me that he is unsure, and later ends the relationship because he doesn't think that he can keep it in his pants (to be point blank).

So for the past almost 2 weeks, I have been convincing myself that it's better that it ended, because why would I want to be with someone who admits that he may cheat again? I love him, but I would rather be without him then be cheated on all the time.

So now that he comes back full force, i'm asking myself how he can be so sure again, when just a little while ago, he was so unsure he broke up with me. I'm not sure if he knows what he wants. If I was convinced that he is being sincere, and is not just lonely, or just realizing single life isn't all that fun, then I would go back with him. BUt i'm not convinced. So I don't know.

As for the other man, he is not what I am baising my future on. He is a great guy, fun, caring etc., but I just mentioned him to show that I have realized that life without my ex is not that bad. I didn't mention him for you guys to think that I am debating on which one I want to be with. Even if my ex and I don't get back together, nothings stating that I am going to start seeing this guy right away, or ever.

Anyways, thanks for your input. Any advise is appreciated.
Unfortunately, sometimes you can't have it BOTH ways, as you're finding out. AND, with the good, comes the bad, so this current behavior is a part of him - even if this is the first time you're seeing it.

My point being, again, can you tolerate and accept him, en total? Sure, you can LOVE a part of him, but a relationship can't last without at the least an acceptance or tolerance of those traits that you don't like.

The status of your relationship is no excuse for misbehaviors, but people will do and say hurtful/crazy/inappropriate things all in the name of love or desperation or revenge, etc.

It comes down to what you feel his worth is to you, as a boyfriend. And what your own self-worth is.
[*]Can you tolerate his behaviors (all of them)?
[*]Can forgive his cheating and put trust in him going forward?
[*]Are you comfortable maintaining a relationship with him knowing his capacity for being controlling and resentful of your other interests?
To name a few things to think about.

You are hesitating for a reason. You should look at that. Hesitation TELLS you something.

If a man needs to bully or make demands on a woman in order for the relationship to succeed (on his end) because she has doubts, what does that say?

If you truly are IN LOVE with him, why the hesitation? Meaning, if you are committed to him in your heart, you would be running back with a plan to make things work out between you two. You're not doing that. That says something.

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