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Calista-
You may remember some of my replies to your thread especially about the cheating. My ex cheated and I broke it off after a long time trying to make it work. He also cheated when we went through a rough patch... :rolleyes:
I think some men just cheat and they won't ever stop. He plainly told you that he can't promise he won't cheat again :eek: I agree that maybe he changed his mind now because he realized hes loosing you. After me and my ex broke up we remained friends..he got married and has a baby now. I can't tell you how many times he called me behind his wife's back and even admitted that he wants to cheat on her, etc. I finally saw the "other side" of him that I didn't see when we were dating. I realized then that he'll always be a cheater(whether he married me or someone else) and I know I made the right decision.

I understand that you love him, but why not be with a guy who doesn't cheat and promises you that?

I just can't imagine what you'll go through if you marry him and he cheats on you.
-hes cheated on every girlfriend
-hes cheated on you
-he admitted he can't promise he won't cheat again
[QUOTE=CalistaClap]Elated,

When did you finally know things were over with your ex? (the one that cheated). What was the thing that made you think you could walk away without any regrets? Your situation then sounds so much like my situation now. It would be helpful to know what was the final straw, and how you were able to contiune on without him.[/QUOTE]

I knew things were finally over when I knew in my heart that I could never trust him again. As much as I wanted to, it just didn't work. It may have worked for awhile, but then maybe he didn't answer his phone or he was late and all the old feelings of him cheating cam back. I simply could not get over it. I didn't know when walking away if I would regret it or not, BUT I did know that I couldn't trust him and without trust I felt like I didn't have a true relationship. It got to the point that I'd rather be alone than be with someone I can't trust. I don't have any regrets, especially when he'd sneak behind his new girlfriend/wife's back and call me...then I KNEW 100% I made the right decision, otherwise I'd be in his wife's position now, no thanks. Calista, you'll know when the time is ready. It maybe tomorrow, it maybe in 2 years..but something just clicks and you know.
Thanks Elated. Right now I do trust him. Definatly not as much as I did before everything happened, but I do not suspect that he is out cheating if I can't get ahold of him etc. I have no problems with him going with his friends for a night or 2 or a week, etc. Just as long as I know what the general idea is (Ex. hunting, fishing, etc), and if he does go out to a bar or something that he tell me the next day and I don't make an issue of it. That is alot more than I was able to trust him say... 5 months ago. THe future with him does still bother me, but not like it did before. I am still nervous that 5 or 6 years down the road he will cheat again. But then that fear is probably going to be in any relationship that I am in from now on.

The thing that bother me is that he does not trust me. That is one of my main peeves and turn offs. I've never given him a reason not to trust me. I've never cheated, flirted, hide things from him, or been in situations that I shouldn't have been in. I've been a very faithful girlfriend. It bothers me that even though I have been very good in that sense I do not get treated like I have. It almost makes me want to ask him "would it make you feel better if I just went out and made out with someone else so you atleast have a reason to act like this?". But I haven't said that. And I would never do that. I have no desire to be with someone else.

Anyways I've expressed this issue to him. He agrees with me that he really has no reason to act like that but it is those lovely insucrities coming out again. That is one thing that he is vowing to try and work on.





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