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Relationship Health Message Board


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I feel for you, my husband broke my trust by having an "internet" affair and it led to phone calls and etc. He almost left me and we yelled, screamed and etc.

Things worked and then I found out a year later he started contacting her again, she was/is married too. I found out through an email with a new addy. I have my ways of getting info off the computer and opening emails without the passwords. Long explanation, anyway more fighting but we got over it.

Do I trust him now? Sometimes but not always, his ex, the biological mother of his kids (who gave up all rights and let me adopt) calls every once in a blue moon and I get pissed and ask a hundred and one questions and he answers me.

For now, you need to beg forgiveness, send flowers, cry, do what it takes if you truly want her back. You may never be trusted again and that is your own fault, granted you say you did nothing wrong other then the secrecy.

Don't turn it around and tell her "you told me to have closure", that will make her take defence.

Admit to being wrong, change your cell phone numbers, email addys and anything else she wants you to change.

Don't deny what you did, but don't say you did something you didn't do.

You will have to wait it out and continue telling her you love her, don't give up and never, ever go back to the ex or you will prove her right.

If she truly loves you she will forgive you in time. Let her know you take full responsibility for being stupid but you wouldn't do anything intentionally to harm her or your marriage.

Don't give up if you truly love her and tell her how this experience has shown you how much she means to you and how you never want to lose her.

She has the floor, all you can do is humble yourself and ask forgiveness and gifts don't hurt!

If you must quit the gym then do so or only go together, you will have to make the offer. In time she will let it go but check up on you on occasion, live with it, it is part of the deal. Once trust is broken, it may never come back, all you can do is try.

Good luck, I hope this helps. I do feel for you, but I know how she feels too and it hurts a lot.

Take care





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