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Relationship Health Message Board

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How can you tell?
Sep 29, 2004
Hello everyone. Here is my situation. I am 24 I have been with my fiance now for 5 years, and I love him so very much. My best friend (who is a guy) I have known since I was 16 years old and we talk almost everyday. When we were in high school we dated. We never had sex but I left him for his best friend (bad idea) I never did anything with his best friend either. it was all innocent really. Anyway, back then after I eventually wound up with no one I realized that I really loved him and wanted him back, I went through this for about two years until my fiance and I got in a relationship. Well for about two years now we have been talking again, alot actually! he never calls to talk to my fiance, just me. We always laugh, and he pokes fun at me, and he says things like, I love you and then he acts like he doesn't mean it, and when I said I wish that you really meant that, he said don't you love your fiance? I said of course and then we got silent. He has a girlfriend, of about a year now and he says he loves her, and she is nice but makes fun of him all the time and he complains about that. He is a really great guy, nice family. All the things I loved about him are coming back and I am feeling weird about it. I love my fiance, we live together and have been through hell and back together, but I love talking to my friend, and he makes me laugh. What do you think is going on? I am getting mixed feelings. Its all too weird. I am older now. I look at things differently. I want children and I want to get married. My fiance never wants to talk about any of it! I want so much more. I love him with my heart and soul, but we want different things. I have talked to him about it all, but we wound up fighting and I wound up agreeing with him just to stop the fighting, and we always wind up back at square one. I guess what I want to know is. When I talk to my friend he is always saying weird things and then acting like it is a joke. Then I make fun of him and we laugh. It funny, its kind of like we are 16 again, not that we can't have a serious conversation, we often do! but we are both so weird at showing affection. I don't know, its a weird situation. I am at a loss. They are both amazing people! but my heart is going in two directions and its weird. Some days I will be like "you are crazy" to myself. and others I am really into my feelings for my friend. What would you all suggest I do? mabye I am overreacting, mabye I am not. I know you all can;t tell me either way, but I was just wondering if any of you have been in a similar position, or have some advice on how to find out what is going on here......HELP!!!!


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