It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


i'm so upset. we were "just" a day away from putting an offer on a house. so weird how one minute you can go from almost making a serious financial commitment with someone to breaking up with them the next.

he and i just can't sit down and have a normal, leveled toned conversation about serious issues. every time we need to discuss something serious it turns into all hell breaking loose. and i am always the one to try and make it all better. he will never apologize or try to resolve an issue. he will just give me the silent treatment until i come to him and i end up apologizing for getting out of control for something he did that hurt my feelings. he's the calm one, i swear he's like a genius at disfunctional converstation, he will make it look like it's all me when his sarcasm and patronizing tones hurt my feelings. he will never see that he is mean with the choices of words and phrases he uses. they hurt like a knife sometimes. his apologies never say, "i'm sorry i hurt you or if i hut you i didn't intend to...he says or writes in emails and says, "i'm sorry if you feel hurt, it wasn't my intention." UGH, a sorry is taking responsiblity for your actions, and an "i'm sorry" can go a long way. it makes me so mad that he won't take responsibility for that, makes me feel as if he doesn't even know what he's doing is wrong.

Anyway, i had the last straw yesterday. i had asked if we could sign something that stated the part of the money that i would be paying toward the house would go to equity and not rent to give me a little assurance that he wouldn't run off and take my part of the money i put into the house since i thought my name wasn't going to be on the title or deed (which turns out in the end my name would have been on it, but that doesn't change the fact that it's not outlandish crazy to ask for something like that as there are no guarentees in life) i thought it was reasonable. he FREAKED out and thought it was just crazy! I said, what advice would you give your daughter or better yet your mother in my situation? he said, dont' marry someone you don't trust.

UGHHHHHHHHH this has nothing to do with trust and he cannot understand that. anyway, besides that point, he was very rude to me and patronizing because i had called this paper a prenuptual agreement and he just ripped me to shreds sarcastically stating that's not even what it was called. ANYWAY!!!! my whole issue with this is he always treats me this way when we are having normal serious adult conversations. i told him flat out that i was sick of him talking to me this way and i didn't deserve it that i deserve to be treated like an adult. he would not apologize for it, oh wait, he said, i'm sorry you feel that way, it wasn't my intention. i dont' give a **** about if you intended it, you freaking hurt my feelings and now own up to it you jerk and give me an apology...it's not that much to ask!!!!!

Am I nuts??? anyway, he ignored me for freakin two days on this topic, i finally went home early yesterday from work, i wrote out all the pros and cons about him and our relationship and guess what there were 10 times more cons and the good doesn't nearly outway the bad. so i walked up to him last night as he was pouting at his computer and told him that i dont' want to buy a house with you and in fact, i feel that if we can't hold a normal converstation and treat each other like an adult about serious issues then we are going to have one hell of a time being together and owning a house is just going to make it a lot worse down the road to split up. i just didn't feel confident at that point to buy a house with him if he was going to treat me like **** for wanting to protect myself.

he can't and has never been willing to put himself in my shoes. he acts as if he's mr perfect and he can never do anything wrong. he never admits when he's wrong, never! asking for an apology from him is like pulling teeth. am i freaking wrong for wanting an apology for that? it drove me NUTS when he didnt' return one after i told him how he apologized by saying, "i'm sorry you feel that way" just doesn't say you're sorry. am i wrong???? i'm so frustrated because it's like this ALL the time. he won't own up to being a jerk and hurting my feelings by sarcastic remarks during serious discussions and what PISSES me off the most is that i have a temper and i'll start to spout off and then it all looks like it's me and i caused the whole thing. UGHHHHHH.....then i'm the one apologizing and he gets away with it. I HATE THIS. However, i was good this last time around, i only emailed him and told him how i felt and i was very adult about it and that's why i'm just so pissed i never received anything back. so that was it, that was the last straw i said to myself i cannot marry a man who won't take responsibility when he is being an arse. i undersand people have their moments in life and we all tend to have tempers and say things wrong, but C'MON you have to have some sense that saying hurtful things deserves an apology....maybe i'm just freakin nuts. maybe i'm just toooo freakin sensitive to be in a relationship. ALL I ASK is for my significant other be FAIR about stuff like this. I CAN'T handle it!

So, I did it, I told him I don't want to be with him anymore. He's actually a very decent person other than this, he doesn't yell and would never hit me. He's responsible and funny and extremely articulate and smart. It's so hard for me to walk away from a person that has so much but I just can't communicate with!!! It's so disheartening, I'm just at my witts end. I'm 32 and been in 3 long term relationships...UGHHHHH to start over again at this age???? I swear I need to just get a house on the corner now and start breeding those cats cause this is where it's going for me =(.

Thanks a sheet load for reading this...I just hope that someone will be honest with me and tell me that i'm being irrational or to sensitive. I just hope that someone can relate or understand me because my Fiance sure doesn't have a clue. =(





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:43 AM.





2019 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!