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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Oh, honey, I really feel for you. I remember those feelings SO well, I would spend hours crying and agonizing to my friends: should I leave him? I don't want to give up so easily, and things used to be so good, maybe they can be good again? But then would I be crying like this all the time if things were meant to work out? I would go back and forth, my friends would say take a break along with that old but true cliche: "any man that would make you cry isn't worth your tears, and the one that is won't make you cry."

I know it's so hard to cut things off. It took me until my junior year of college to cut things off (we had been together since HS). I don't really have any regrets, but I do wish I would have spent less time pining and more time meeting new guys and trying to find one that would give as much back to me as I wanted to give to the man in my ideal relationship. I remember feeling like I was just going through life counting days until I saw him mood was best right before I saw him and worst right after. I hated feeling like my whole life revolved around him especially because he didn't seem to feel the same way or miss me nearly as much. I do think the best relationships are the ones where you spend lots of time together--yours was probably best in the beginning when you lived near each other, and a lot of relationships have that honeymoon phase where everything is wonderful until reality sets in. But somewhere out there, there is a relationship that will feel like a wonderful honeymoon all the way though--I am living proof of that--and knowing that, I wouldn't settle for anything less.

Take your time sweetie, try as much as possible to focus on your own life and your own goals. He's probably not going to ever give you what you want, but that doesn't mean you have to cut things off right away. The thing that bothered me most is when you said he might not care if you left him...that's a big sign you're investing much more in the relationship than he is, and you deserve better!! And no, you're not crazy--it's just that this is a really tough situation, you're in love and you want everything to work out. No one could blame you for agonizing over this or being upset that you are not getting what you want and need from him. Hang in there and don't hesitate to rely on everyone here for support, OK? You will make it through this and someday find a man who won't make you cry, who loves you and wants you just as much as you love and want him.

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