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Hello Everyone,

Sorry for this long moment of silence..... Happy new year to all of you.

Well, to keep you up with all this story, he invited me to come over and visit him. I was happy to go, not because I was going to spend time with him but because I would see how his relationship really is with his wife. We were so happy to see each other..He came to pick me up at the airport and I ran in his arms and we hugged each other for a long while. We went to his car and he held me in his arms saying how much he missed me and how much he loved me. We went home and we had planned to go to another city together because of his work and I wanted to visit that town. His wife was working and his kids had school.

I spent 10 days and as the days passed, I felt such a huge guilt. He did also. We weren't even able to look into each other's eyes. At the 8th day, when we went on the trip. We talked a lot and decided to end this relationship we had. It was getting too hard for me to be with him. During this period, I got to know my cousin and saw that she was soooo sweet. I also saw the most important thing. She loved him madly. She told me that so many times, crying on my shoulders. She said she knew that he was fooling around but was forgiving all that because she didn't want to live without him. I was so heart broken. I couldn't even look at her in the eyes. This is why our relationship just had to stop. It was impossible for me to continue.

We broke-up 3 months ago, and I still cry every night thinking of him. I met someone very sweet but just can't do anything because I still have my love for my Mr. Right. I feel this is so unfair for this new man because I am giving me no chance to prove his love. My Ex and I talk to each other once in a while on the phone when I call my cousin to say hi. We also write to each other to get some news. This is not very regular, just once or twice per month. I am so happy when I see I have an email from him. He tells me that she is doing a lot of efforts to make this marriage survive and he seems to appreciate all this. I think that he loves her, still after 24 years of marriage. But he still says it: His love for me will last until his last breath. I think I will always love him too, since I have always loved him until now. But I also know that I am young and that I will need to have a man in my life. Someone available to love me 100%.

This relationship was wrong and I always said it. But I will never regret this. I needed this relationship to learn more about my needs and about myself. I lived a passion, an affair that lots of people would want to live. I felt the butterflies in me. I felt love and felt loved. It's very hard to get over all this. The fall is very hard and it hurts me so bad. But I know we did the right thing. If their marriage has a chance to live on, I will be more than happy. I love him enough to let him go, knowing that he is so loved by his wife.

Take care everyone. :angel:





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