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Relationship Health Message Board

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Like Promisez said, I think this guy is kind of a control freak. You need to be really careful in this situation. My sister married a man who was/is a control freak, and she finally decided to divorce him. She described it as 7 years of feeling like a prisioner in her own life. Since her annoucement and subsiquent divorce, she says she feels liberated. I only bring this up because you need to understand that controlling people are always controlling. If you try and wait for them to outgrow it, or that you might be able to change them, you are really taking on a task that is VERY difficult if not impossible.

Now, the other point I want to make. As a guy, I am probably guilty of this as well, even though I like to think that I'm a "what you see is what you get" type guy. I'm rambling....sorry. When guys are new to a relationship, we tend to put on our best fronts. It's because it's new, and we want to make sure you ladies don't give up on us. But as time goes by, we get more comfortable with our girlfriends. With that, we tend to start behaving as our true selves. For instance, if a guy has a tendency to leave the toilet seat up, he may in the beginning always put it down, but after a while, will start leaving it up, because that's their true self. If this guy has changed drastically, you need to ask yourself if you like what you see. If you don't, get out. Don't stick around and try and change him, or don't pine over how he "used" to be. You need to see him for what he is. If you don't like what you see, move on. It's as simple as that.

One other thing. Controlling men will often seek out insecure, vulnrebel women. They do this, whether on purpose or instintively, but never the less, they find them. I don't know you, but hanging around with a guy that controlls you makes you an enabler.

Good luck. And please, keep in mind that no one should ever have to be ruled by their lover. After all, the middle ages are over!


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