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Relationship Health Message Board

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:confused: hi,
I met this guy about a few years ago when he had a girlfriend. A few months after they broke up we met again and after too many drinks we hooked up. I donít believe in casual sex but it happened and I tried to deal with it I just intended to forget it and move on but the guy pursued me and I was taken with him. To me I had already had sex with him so I should at least make an effort to have a relationship with him. We ended up in a relationship, he told me he loved me then I started to fall in love with him too I was thinking babies here and it seemed that he was too because he told me he wanted me to have his kids. I was really in love here but something wasnít right I kept on doubting him and I felt guilty for doing so cause there wasnít anything there. I wasnít too happy with him at times cause I didnít get to see him as much as I wanted too but I knew that he worked hard and long hours so I didnít complain too much. He didnít do the things I expected of him like buy me gifts and such but I was in love with him and I made excuses for him. Now I find out that all that time he had another girlfriend not even the one I had met at first but someone else. He tells me that he really loves her and that he liked me allot too and he couldnít say no. What I donít get is that he told me that he loved me all the time how could he say for all the time that he was with me that he loved me and now when confronted say that it was LIKE that he just liked me I donít get it. The other girl didnít know either so I told her or now their relationship is over now also. Itís hard to think that some one you have loved or more than a year doesnít love you but instead loves someone else. Itís hard. The thing is that I still love him, part of me even still wants to be with him, I know that I cant but I sure want too be with him its like my future plans all revolved around our relationship. But it was all based on a lie, we would never have gotten married, never had children. He was with this other girl for more than three years so Iím sure that he didnít intend to spend his lie with me even though he led me to believe that he was going too. I'm hurt and betrayed maybe Iíll never find someone to really love me if all I seem to attract is men who already have girlfriends. He says that he hopes that we can be friends but he betrayed my trust and I donít know if I even want him around. What I want to know is how all of what we had together could have been a lie it still doesnít seem like a lie I just cant believe that he didnít love me, I cant. I wont accept that I wont believe it. Maybe Iíll never find love but I learned allot. The first man I ever loved lied, betrayed and cheated on me. How am I to trust ever again?

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