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Relationship Health Message Board

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Hi Ladivapr,

Quite an interesting thread you've started! :) I agree with much of the wisdom here and thanks for responding to my thoughts. How are things going for you lately Ms. Ladi? Hopefully looking up a bit?

Anyway, among the other important points here, I think it's key not to rule anyone out for superficial reasons. While it's probably a mistake to compromise on certain core values, like religion in Ladi's case, even past history, IMO, shouldn't be something to rule someone out over. My sweetie once had a love affair with a woman married to a gay guy, to the point where he moved in with them, but yet he's the gentlest, kindest, most respectful guy I know who has and would never cheat on a girlfriend (even though the married lady cheated on him with several guys...but she's a lot older and mentally ill, long story).

In some ways, it made him more attractive to me when he was so candid and thorough in telling me about his past--I really liked that he was willing to follow his heart even in the most unorthodox situation. I think heartlandguy had it right when he said no one wants to end up with someone they see as boring (or rigid--gotta keep things interesting and varied in a long-term relationship :jester: !) There are open-minded people out there with colorful pasts who are also extremely loyal, trustworthy, and consistently loving (like me and my sweetie, for example). I for one have always been attracted to guys with an unorthodox, even wild, past, and I've never been disappointed :) .

Also, Nini, I think you really hit the nail on the head when you said it's harder and harder to find a partner because people, especially women, don't really NEED to be married anymore. Even during the era of free love and all, women still hadn't achieved (well, not quite) equality in the workforce, and few could make it through a lifetime relying only on themselves for financial support.

Anyway, I still think everyone deserves someone to love, for emotional support and companionship if not for financial reasons. Ladi, Nini, and Sophia--you're all such great, inspiring women that I have a very hard time believing that some guys who love and appreciate all your wonderful qualities will come along just when you least expect it. In the meantime, I wish all of you all the best of luck and thanks for the thought-provoking thread!

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