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Im not exactly sure what you're concerned about. Are you worried that your man and your ex friend's conversations about her broken heart will lead to their having an affair? Are you concerned over the two of them just getting closer and leaving you out? Or are you concerned that you just feel you've been treated unfairly because you've been cut out of the equation? I think it's possible that your boyfriend just wants to avoid confrontation. He's got two angry, upset women chewing his ears off on either side, I don't envy his position!! I have to admit, though, I can relate to your friend. If I had a best girlfriend who was friends with me and my husband and we both decided it would be best to break up, I'd understand her staying neutral. But if my husband hurt me, like left me for another woman, lied to me, whatever, I would want my friends to be on my side. Loyalty is important to me, and if anyone hurts me, I would expect my real friends to have my back, even if the person who hurt me is another friend. i don't know if I could stay friends with someone who wouldn't take my side against someone who hurt me either. But if she doesn't know, then perhaps your boyfriend hasn't been really up front with her in telling her he sees her ex's side of things, too. How important is her ex husband's friendship to you? Is it worth losing hers, and creating distance between you and your man? How hard would it really be to at least give the appearance that you're on her side? I don't know these people so I can't say if you have cause to be suspicious of anything, but it sounds like wedges are being driven in all over the place. Your friend sounds like she's really been hurt, and when you're hurt that badly, you tend to feel like "you're either with me or against me." Maybe you might want to think of ways on how you can join your boyfriend in offering her support and earning her trust again.
In reply to Ninispjc, you must have misunderstood me, she is not my ex-friend. As far as I am concerned she is still a friend, never a 'best friend' though. It was after their separation that she would call us and ask if we had seen him or heard from him. When I would tell her no, she would call me a liar plus a few other unlikely words, because she AND her husband were friends of ours and she thought he would come over and talk to us. He got the picture about us being neutral right at the start and didn't attempt to put us in the middle of it all. We simply wanted to remain friends with both of them. When she said these things to me on the phone, I did tell her that I didn't like the way she was talking to me and hung up on her. I do not hold this against her, afterall, I have been there. Only difference was that Imy husband left me, not like her, she booted him out. As for her ex, he has moved on, we rarely see him anymore, maybe once a month if we are lucky, considering he has a car parked at our house. The conversations between her and my boyfriend have just recently started up. This process started over a year ago and she quit calling about a month after it happened. So, I am wondering why, all of a sudden, she feels the need to talk to just my boyfriend and not me.
As far as my insecurities are concerned, I don't think I would have such a problem with all of this if she could at least not be nasty on the phone now. If she could call while I am at home on our home phone.
I don't believe they are heading towards an affair. It's not in him. After five years I think I would know. I just feel the whole situation is a little too evasive to suit me.





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