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I have a brother-in-law who has been in my family for almost 30 years now.
We see him on Thanksgiving & sometimes on Christmas. He doesn't come to picnics, birhtday parties, etc.

He has Social Anxiety Disorder - and it has NOTHING to do with him not being there for my sister, or "choosing" not to go.
You may need to choose between not having this man in your social life, or not having him at all. Sometimes medication helps, but sometimes not.
The age difference may be a part of it - but it sounds more like he just can't go to these events at all... Can you accept this part of your boyfriend in order to continue the relationship if it is social anxiety disorder?
[QUOTE=Ruth6:11]I have a brother-in-law who has been in my family for almost 30 years now.
We see him on Thanksgiving & sometimes on Christmas. He doesn't come to picnics, birhtday parties, etc.

He has Social Anxiety Disorder - and it has NOTHING to do with him not being there for my sister, or "choosing" not to go.
You may need to choose between not having this man in your social life, or not having him at all. Sometimes medication helps, but sometimes not.
The age difference may be a part of it - but it sounds more like he just can't go to these events at all... Can you accept this part of your boyfriend in order to continue the relationship if it is social anxiety disorder?[/QUOTE]

Hi, you know, it is interesting that he may have some degree of social anxiety, because I have suffered from anxiety attacks and take celexa daily to prevent them! so i def. understand social anxiety more than most. i don't think thats his main problem though. heres the update: i talked to him after work that day to sort things out. he was HOPPING mad that i got so upset "over nothing". I explained to him it was important to me, and that if it wasn't i wouldnt have made a big deal. so while he misunderstood me, more also came out about why he didnt want to go. the friends we were going to be with at the apartment were going to be doing some drugs that we do not do, and since they arent his friends and he barely knows them yet, he didn't want to be hanging out with people that are on some drug he doesnt even do. i think it might have been different if it we were going out someplace, but i guess the idea of sitting in an apartment with that situation made him uncomfortable. i asked him if he will accompany me to future events and h e said yes. (i guess not those situations, but others that hell feel more comfortable with). as of now, we made up and explained to each other what we had misunderstood or were unaware of. im going to try to pick events that he will feel more comfortable at, and i guess just see what happens next time to see if it was an isolated event or a recurring issue. thanks for all the help!





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