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Relationship Health Message Board


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Re: Boyfriend
Oct 20, 2004
Scarlett,

Something to think about: Remember that the tighter you hold onto to him, the more you could push him away. It's that old analogy about holding a handful of sand in your hand. If you let it sit there as you gently cup it, it stays put. But as soon as you start to squeeze, the sand trickles out between your fingers and drops to the ground.

I think all relationships should have boundaries (of course), but we don't "own" people, and people are usually going to do what they want to do anyway. Even though your boyfriend is going on vacation with females and you are upset about this, drop it, and let him go with well wishes for a fun time.

The fact that you are still dating him despite his vacation plans says that even though it's causing you some worry, you're still with him. So, worrying about the vacation isn't going to change anything.

It sounds simple - and I realize it's not. But worrying isn't going to change anything. He's still going on vacation with females. The only control you have over about this is how you are going to make up your mind to react to it from now on.

You say you really have nothing to complain about (compared to another relationship), so make THAT your motto and let him see you be open and giving and wanting him to have fun - even if you won't be there. If you're still with him, you owe it to yourself and this relationship to let him know you really do want him to enjoy his time away. It's hard to do sometimes, but worth it when you experience personal growth from dealing with a worry from a different perspective, AND realizing that it was JUST vacation for him, even if it was with some girls.





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