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Hey guys--
Thanks again for all your posts. Every single one of them helped me. I had lunch with my mom and it was so nice that she cared...me and my mother do not have a close relationship. It really meant the world to me that she drove over an hour to see me just for a lunch. We really didn't talk about it all...she just wishes that he'd come around, she wants the best for me and wants a man there for me..to care for me so I'm not calling her when my car breaks down..lol She just assured me that things have a way of being okay..that we can always look back and say "ahh..it wasn't that bad". My parents want someone to care for me and my boyfriend thinks my parents should still take that role..I guess because his do for him.

I'm actually surprised that I didn't get any "dump him" replies. :rolleyes: I had this problem with him months ago...I let him know that if he doesn't come around soon then I'll have to date other people..the time has come and I hate to go back on my word.

I love the idea of being married. He'd be my first choice, but I'm not going to wait around forever just because I love him. I don't want to be 35 and posting..."I dated this guy for 10 years, we always talked about marriage, but hes still not ready"...I love him to death, but I'm not going to risk years and years of my life on him; not without some type of commitment. I just am not okay with the idea of investing years into a boyfriend...I need something a little more real than that.

I'm also not happy with the situation. I've never been happy about the long distance and he knows that. "it is what it is" is his reply. 6 months into this I was ready to move closer to him/move in with him and all hes done in the past 2 years is back pedal from anything dealing with commitment (moving in, engagment, etc.)

He says "why can't we just talk and get along and I just wanted to see how your day was not all this"...

Its much easier for him, hes content with it..hes working his dream job, living at home rent free and able to take his merry time and get married when he wants to...

What about when I want to get married? I certainly don't want to marry someone I convinced to marry me....

Its just so painful wanting to see someone everyday and have no problem making a commitment when they aren't on the same page..

I'm not sure how long I can smile and pretend I'm okay with things and act "cool"...like we're just dating for 2 months...it irks inside of me and I can't fake it any longer. I can't put my emotions and feelings aside and be the "cool girlfriend"...and I guess thats why it has all come to this...

I'm not happy with how things are. I haven't been happy with them and I refuse to continue to be unhappy for an uncertain amount of time.
[QUOTE]What about when I want to get married? I certainly don't want to marry someone I convinced to marry me....

Its just so painful wanting to see someone everyday and have no problem making a commitment when they aren't on the same page..

I'm not sure how long I can smile and pretend I'm okay with things and act "cool"...like we're just dating for 2 months...it irks inside of me and I can't fake it any longer. I can't put my emotions and feelings aside and be the "cool girlfriend"...and I guess thats why it has all come to this...

I'm not happy with how things are. I haven't been happy with them and I refuse to continue to be unhappy for an uncertain amount of time.[/QUOTE]

Wow, I completely relate to this! That's exactly how I was feeling with my ex-boyfriend. Exactly. I was totally "cool" for a long time, not putting any pressure on him, enjoying our relationship and living together. He would tell me he loved me 100 times a day, wrote beautiful poems and songs for me, in which he said he wants me to be his wife. All this but no ring. I waited, waited, and waited. There comes a point when even the most patient woman will start getting resentful. He finally asked me to marry him, but refused to tell anyone about our engagement and refused to discuss wedding plans. I was so unhappy, because I felt like my engagement should be the happiest period and that he should be proud and not able to wait to tell everyone. I mean, at that point we were together for 3.5 years and living together for 3 years. I thought that was enough time for him to decide. So, I hate to tell you, but inthe case of my ex, I eventually had to leave him. I think he didn't love me enough but didn't have the guts to break up with me. He just became passive aggressive and drove me to leave him. I really regret now that I wasted my best years on this guy, living with false hope, giving him my all when there might have been someone else out there who deserved me and my love a hell of a lot more. Who would have been happy to make me his wife. Who wouldn't have had to be talked into it because he wanted the same thing. I won't tell you what to do, but you will know in your heart when enough is enough. Wowwee is right, badgering him about it will only have the opposite effect. but you can't wait forever either. And I don't think 25 is too young to get married. I wanted to be married at that age also. Both of my good friends married at 25 and so did my sister. It's not too young at all.





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