It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Hey guys--
Thanks again for all your posts. Every single one of them helped me. I had lunch with my mom and it was so nice that she cared...me and my mother do not have a close relationship. It really meant the world to me that she drove over an hour to see me just for a lunch. We really didn't talk about it all...she just wishes that he'd come around, she wants the best for me and wants a man there for me..to care for me so I'm not calling her when my car breaks down..lol She just assured me that things have a way of being okay..that we can always look back and say "ahh..it wasn't that bad". My parents want someone to care for me and my boyfriend thinks my parents should still take that role..I guess because his do for him.

I'm actually surprised that I didn't get any "dump him" replies. :rolleyes: I had this problem with him months ago...I let him know that if he doesn't come around soon then I'll have to date other people..the time has come and I hate to go back on my word.

I love the idea of being married. He'd be my first choice, but I'm not going to wait around forever just because I love him. I don't want to be 35 and posting..."I dated this guy for 10 years, we always talked about marriage, but hes still not ready"...I love him to death, but I'm not going to risk years and years of my life on him; not without some type of commitment. I just am not okay with the idea of investing years into a boyfriend...I need something a little more real than that.

I'm also not happy with the situation. I've never been happy about the long distance and he knows that. "it is what it is" is his reply. 6 months into this I was ready to move closer to him/move in with him and all hes done in the past 2 years is back pedal from anything dealing with commitment (moving in, engagment, etc.)

He says "why can't we just talk and get along and I just wanted to see how your day was not all this"...

Its much easier for him, hes content with it..hes working his dream job, living at home rent free and able to take his merry time and get married when he wants to...

What about when I want to get married? I certainly don't want to marry someone I convinced to marry me....

Its just so painful wanting to see someone everyday and have no problem making a commitment when they aren't on the same page..

I'm not sure how long I can smile and pretend I'm okay with things and act "cool"...like we're just dating for 2 months...it irks inside of me and I can't fake it any longer. I can't put my emotions and feelings aside and be the "cool girlfriend"...and I guess thats why it has all come to this...

I'm not happy with how things are. I haven't been happy with them and I refuse to continue to be unhappy for an uncertain amount of time.
Eightball-
Thanks for caring...it really means the world. I'm at work today and then I'm off for the next 2 days. I left my boyfriend a message not to call me today because I can't deal with talking to him. I explained that he has hurt me and that I feel led on and used.

Its one thing to not be ready for marriage, but its another thing to keep going back on his words. You don't tell the person you love "in a couple months we'll be getting engaged" and "I can't tell you all about the money situation with me because I don't want to ruin it, I want it to be a surprise"..and then when the time comes say "I can't do it right now and I have no idea when I could". I asked him "years?" and his response is "I don't know!" :eek:

I definately feel lead on regardless if it was intentional or not, it really doesn't matter. He knew how excited I was, how happy I was..you don't just take that away. So I have nothing more to say to him. I don't beleive what he says because he has gone back on his word so much. I'm not here for his pleasure and to be an emotional yo-yo.

He probably said all that to shut me up. I'm not quite sure how I feel about being with someone that would hurt me like this..I feel like such a joke to him.

So I'm going to avoid all his calls this weekend and go out with my friends. He was supposed to help me carve my pumpkin today, but I'm going to take it to my mom's and carve it there. Tonight I'm drinking and going to play cards.

I really don't think things will work out with him anymore...I think I deserve more so he either can realize hes lost me and get his act together or he can carry on his immature ways with someone else. Maybe he met someone at his new job, maybe he never really planned to marry me, maybe he got cold feet AGAIN...whatever it is, thats his problem.

Anyway, thanks again Eightball and I hope you have a good weekend too!
[QUOTE=elatedgiraffe]

I really don't think things will work out with him anymore...I think I deserve more so he either can realize hes lost me and get his act together or he can carry on his immature ways with someone else. Maybe he met someone at his new job, maybe he never really planned to marry me, maybe he got cold feet AGAIN...whatever it is, thats his problem.

[/QUOTE]


Thanks for taking the time to respond back. I am sure its hard to still talk about it and try not to think about it at the same time. Its a confusing state that your mind is in right now but keeping yourself busy like with friends is always good. Go out tonight and have fun. ;)

One day he will realize the wonderful person he lost. You both may just need a brake at this time. Sometimes a good brake could put things better in te future because during a brake you realize what you lost and missed.

Its all up to you and you have a great mind to make the best decision for you. I am not going to say "dump him" because I feel that is not my position to say right now. You both again are in a rut. You want and he doesn't want. Relationships are not made to be simple. Its great to have a love but there are con's like disagreements.

You will be able to lift your self out of this rut with or without him. You are a great person and I am sure you know that. He is missing out on a great girl and thats his loss. You would make it as a great wife. The problem is that he doesn't see that. I do see his side with the money issue but he can save. "[B]Promise[/B]" made a jar to put some money in each week to save up for his bike. You boyfriend can do the same. If he took that matters into his hands then that would at least prove to you that he is trying and wants to put that ring on you.

I somtimes joke with my Gf that all I can afford out of the gumball machine :p but she would still be happy with that. Money doesn't buy love and I know you know that but what you want is the security knowing he wants to be with you forever. He could be afraid of comittment but I can't rule that out.

I do wish you a great weekend and again thanks for posting :angel:





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:46 AM.





2019 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!