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Your boyfriend should STOP getting in screaming matches with this woman. This is probably the reaction she wants, as well as to see you get upset.

If you really want to take action, you need to have your boyfriend contact the local police.

Then, to prevent further blow-ups, simply leave the event if she shows up. That would certainly put a stop to any kind of escalated conversation immediately. If she follows you, call the police.

It's important that you and your boyfriend react calmly and maturely, not only to have control of the moment, but also if there are witnesses around to hear the verbal exchanges.

Your boyfriend's roommates are not good friends if they would invite this confrontational woman to a party where it's obvious she would not be well received by you or your boyfriend.

Again, a-c-t-i-o-n here is what your boyfriend needs to do. And the sooner the better.

If your boyfriend won't step up to take action, then that's worth a second look for you - you've got to ask yourself why he won't make a greater effort to have her finally stop this behavior. It's important.
Yes my boyfriend went to a small bar (we live in a ver, very small town)with some of his buddies because his other buddies are in a band and it was their last show they were playing. I also had other plans earlier that night and we'd planned to get together at the party at his house after my plans and after his friend's band played. He definitely would have invited me to the bar if I could go but obviously I have 2 years still (but that doesn't bother him at all he doesn't hang out at bars all the time anymore). This girl who is his ex works at a bar and I knew there was a possibility she would see him but he told me not to worry since he doesn't even talk to her. he was just there to watch his friend's band play and have a good time with his friends. I completely trust him but i don't like the fact that she is around.
Hi everybody. I don't normally post on this board so sorry for the intrusion but the subject caught my attention.

I think this ex-girlfriend has some psychological problems going on - I suppose people who stalk generally do. If that's the case then all the talking, screaming, shouting, being nice, being reasonable, or being anything isn't going to work with her. She's obsessed with your boyfriend and anything connected to him.

She needs someone to tell her that what she's doing is very wrong and very unhealthy. If your boyfriend's room-mates are friends with both her and your boyfriend can't they talk to her and point this out to her and find out what she hopes to achieve from it? She needs to talk this through with somebody who's not you and not your boyfriend. I suppose she just wants him back and has lost all sense of reason.

What you and your boyfriend need to do is avoid her at all costs - even if that means avoiding the bar where she works for a while. I think contacting the police is a good idea even if it's just to give her the short sharp shock of a police warning. I don't know about the US but here in the UK the police don't usually intervene unless physical harm is done to someone but they will sometimes give people warnings.

Has anyone, besides your boyfriend, tried to tell her, without shouting, that what she is doing is wrong? Are all her so-called friends just letting her get on with attempting to ruin 2 people's lives?

Sorry to ramble on and sorry to intrude. Just wanted to give you some support. Hope at least some of this is of some help to you.

Good luck and take care.

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