It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


It's okay to have angry feelings, and they will pass with some time and healing.

It's what you do about those angry feelings that will hinder your moving on process and may accidentally hurt your new relationship.

The more you react on your angry and hurt impulses, the worse you are going to feel. It's tough to do, but if you truly want to deal with this break-up, you are going to have to stand strong and stop contacting your ex-boyfriend. It's not doing you any good, and it may hurt your new relationship.

You need to have that break-up just sit still. Your feelings about it are still obviously on the surface. That's a normal part of breaking up - you're going to be mad and hurt. You may even miss him. So, accept that you are going to have these feelings and they are going to make you want to do something about it. But it will be all for nothing in the end, and in the end, you may fnd yourself still bitter and without your new relationship if you can't put it into some kind of perspective now.

So, as hard as it is some days, NO MORE contact. Remember when a person is angry or hurt, there is a normal urge (sometimes VERY STRONG) to react or act impulsively to make their angry or hurt feelings calm down - so a person may try to contact or talk to their recent ex just to try to feel better right away. Usually though, all that does it continue to stir up those angry or hurt feelings, and the person doesn't feel better afterwards anyway. My point being, it will be hard, but NO CONTACT. Don't ruin what could be the start of something happier for you.
Why do you need answers? Do you blame part of it on yourself? Why? Why? Why?...........The important part is that you have something better than before and can eventually recover.
Remember, The person who treated you badly was already like that when you meant him. It just took you awhile to find out. Be glad you did before he did more damage. Whether he meant you or not, wasn"t going to change him.
The more time you spend on this guy, the less you can give the new one. Maybe you should keep it casual with the new guy, until you can give him back what he gives you. Otherwise your doing the same thing that was done to you. Letting another person give 100%, while your only capable of giving 50% (the other 50% being wasted on the past relationship).
He lied about a whole lot of things. My point is, I was deluding myself for the last 7 months of the relationship. I knew what was happening but was dealing with depression and trying to hold onto something that wasn't there to hold on to. I blame myself for not being strong and smart enough to walk away sooner.
When a person takes advantage of another who is vulnerable by way of tragedy, depression or even being drunk, they can do damage that only time can heal. Move on and be thankful you didn"t get pregnant or an STD from this person.
I am incredibly thankful that I have no adverse health issues as a result of being with him and it did suck at the time because I think he was convinced that I was using depression as an excuse for how I was. Anyone who knows anything about depression knows that people who suffer from it cannot concentrate, cannot think clearly or make good decisions, and have serious problems with memory. He would tell me things and I would forget them and he would get pissed at me about it like I was doing it purposefully. Initially he was helpful but I think he just grew resentful and couldn't handle it or me. If I was strong enough, I would've walked away much sooner than I did.
I'm doing the best I can. I don't want to spend the rest of my days being pissed off over it. He's hardly worth it.
[QUOTE=kbell] I am trying to put the whole nasty business behind me and some days are better than others.[/QUOTE]

Right..You are having set backs and we told you that may happen and it is. Don't let it drag you down though because its not doing the best of you. As time passes so wont this and the less you will think about it. In years down the road you will think about it but just to the degree of being angered that you got played for a fool by this guy. Just give it sometime and talk to your counselor about the whole thing. I have faith in you :angel:
This is true. I don't know what he's thinking messaging me. I really have nothing to say to him. It's not like we're going to hang out and be friends or anything like that. I never saw the point in being friends with an ex, especially not in his case.
[QUOTE=kbell] I never saw the point in being friends with an ex, especially not in his case.[/QUOTE]

Then leave it alone and move on....Don't even start to think of what he may want. :nono:
Why are you being one??? You made a mistake. I make mistakes and so doesn't everyone else out there. We are not perfect and try to except that. Learn from the mistake and move on...its only best for you and if you don't think it is then what is?
I was just being a dork.
[QUOTE=kbell]I was just being a dork.[/QUOTE]


Sorry words are hard to interpert sometimes :p
which is what I told you 6 posts ago. I am done with it. I did respond to him in a moment of weakness. Nobody's perfect. I ended it yesterday. I am through. I honestly didn't think he'd respond. He did though he didn't read the letter but I am through. He is colossal waste of my time, I have met someone who is wonderful, and I'd rather focus my energy on being with him.





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:19 AM.





© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!