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Relationship Health Message Board


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Well my boyfriend called me yesterday and asked for his car back as he wants to sell it (I have been driving it for a couple of years now). So all day I thought of things to say and prepared myself... there were things that I thought I needed to say to him, even if he didn't respond, that would at least make me feel better for having said them. But what did I do? I froze up. Couldn't say a word. I just gave him his keys, and asked if he would like to talk, as I thought there was no point even trying if he was not going to listen anyway. He said no, that he would call later (which I knew he wouldn't) and at this point I was barely holding back the tears - I guess it felt like a bit of a final blow for me. I wanted to at least maintain some dignity, and just managed to shut the front door before bursting into tears. I really do not want to appear to be the hopeless girlfriend, but I guess I can't help how I feel. I saw his parents and they too are concerned. No one knows what to do.

But I fully agree with everything that Wowwwweeee said. I guess in my heart I know it's all true, but it's hard to admit it to yourself. Thank you for telling me what I needed to hear. It also made me see things from another perspective which was very helpful. It has perhaps helped me to find a little peace in a difficult circumstance. And it's true that no one can really understand a very depressed person, and I can never even begin to understand if he doesn't want to share it with me. But I do know what it is like to wake up every morning and know that I have to let go of the most important thing of my life, and it is terrible. I miss him very much.

So I guess that i will just have to let him go.... yes, it hurts like hell and I have some very weak moments where I want to give in and try to help him or speak to him or tell him I love him, but I try to remember then that it will not achieve anything and I will only end up more hurt. It's hard to rationalise when you don't understand why, and I would like to think that if he was doing this just because he didn't want to be with me anymore that he would at least tell me. I guess I am afraid mostly because my first long term relationship of 5 years ended when my bf at the time told me he needed space, but kept me hanging around until I found out 8 months later that he had been seeing another girl the whole time. I just don't understand why people have to be like that. I would like to think that my boyfriend would not do that to me, but I feel like I was wrong about so many other things, that I could be this time too. Once bitten, twice shy I suppose.

Thanks again everyone.





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