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Your post literally brought tears to my eyes. You are such an awesome girl with a great heart. Man, did your guy make a big mistake. :rolleyes: So many people are selfish and you stormgirl are really so giving, understanding, and a true friend. It is funny how much you touch me through a computer screen. , my holiday buddy.[/QUOTE]

Hey Elated, you have no idea how much I feel the same. I always get a little teary when I read your posts. I guess it's overwhelming that someone can care so much.

You know, you've raised a good point. We sit around and feel bad because of the things we are missing about them. But what about the things we aren't missing about them? I think the thing that I miss least is the worrying and pressure of trying to maintain a relationship all by myself. I wish I had of had the luxury of being able to sit back and just go with things while someone else put in all the hard yards. I guess sometimes we forget the not so good things and concentrate way too much on the good things. We need to concentrate on the not so goods, so we can stop selling ourselves short.

I am so proud to see you feeling inspired again Elated. I know some of it may be show, but it's good to at least hear that you are thinking about those things... and looking to the future. I'd never judge you Elated. When I broke up from my first long term boyfriend I did the same thing. And you know, at the time it was the right thing for me. Now, I just feel safe in my own little world and don't want to let anyone in. There are other reasons that I know I shouldn't feel, but I do. Firstly, you know how he said he still loved me unless I'd given him reason to? Well I guess that stills plays on my mind a little. I shouldn't care how he would feel, but I do. And it helps me to feel guilt free. I suppose I'm still hoping a little. Obviously I am not really interested either. I just think that if this relationship didn't work out, I don't want to be in one for a while, or any semblance of one. And... are you ready for this one... I haven't bothered doing my bikini line for some time (I am very pedantic about my bikini line), so there's NO WAY I'm gonna let anyone anywhere near me!!! :jester: HAHAHAHA!!! See I told you we all cope in different ways!!!

I've come to the conclusion that I don't care if I am alone. I really do, but I try to convince myself that it's okay if I am. I suppose it helps us hey? It just annoys me that all my friends are married/kids etc and most don't even appreciate it. And here's me, for the past 11 years trying to accomplish what they have and... well, here I am talking about it. This isn't how I had imagined my life would be, but it's now time to take stock and try to change the things that I do have control over. It's disappointing that I grew up thinking my life would be a certain way, and the dream fell apart one day. But watching you be brave Elated, I know that I can do it too.

I have to admit that I nearly called/messaged him last night. I didn't, but it's the closest I've been in some time to doing it. I don't know why... I guess I still have the fantasy that he will wake up one day and realise what a mistake he's made in the way he has treated me and charge up to find me and beg me to give him another chance. HA, talk about watching too many movies. I guess we can all dream can't we? Maybe it's with Christmas coming. I haven't had a Christmas without a boyfriend for the last 11 years, but seeing that I'm almost 27, I think I'm a big girl now and can handle it. I actually don't even mind being on my own, it's just that I don't want to be here without him. Anyway... enough!!!

Elated, I hear what your saying about nothing being certain. But again, I have to tell you not to let the bitterness of what has happened affect you. Yes you may be a little wary next time, but don't go into something always thinking that the bad will come. It may not. And your ability to keep giving and loving when you feel that all is lost, well that's what makes you so special. Don't ever lose that. It's what makes us good people. And if nothing else goes right, at least we can look inside ourselves and be happy and proud with the good people that we are. Not everyone can do that. The people who have hurt us will one day look inside and feel empty and unsatisfied. We never will because we haven't hurt anyone, and have always been giving and loving, even when our chips were down... we still fought on.

I am really so proud of you Elated. Your inspiration may not be a reality yet, but the intention to make the most of your future and march on is there, just brewing and will grow stronger everyday. You are a truly beautiful person, and God will not overlook that. :angel:

PS. rd, where you at? How are things rolling along for you? Give us an update?

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