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[QUOTE=eightball61]& that decision so far has turned out to be ok. You seem to be getting better even though you are having down days but not making anymore attempts to contact him is a huge step...Good for you :angel:[/QUOTE]

Thanks Eightball :)

It has been a huge step to cut off contact. I hope that I continue to not contact him. It really is the best if I don't. Stormgirl will have her moment too...it's different for everyone. For me, I know how bad he made me feel when I contacted him. I was angry, crying, literally shaking because I got so upset. It was starting to freak me out how BAD he could make me feel. I think I finally "got it" that calling him destroyed me and I'm honestly now scared to even make contact because of how bad I felt when I last did.

I've been keeping myself busy with friends and family. I have interest in a new guy friend of mine. I like him, but am not wanting any type of relationship. Hes not relationship material for me anyway, but its nice to think of him and get my mind off my ex. He too just got out of a relationship so I guess we're using one another as a distraction. I'm thinking about pulling back from it though, as I don't want to get hurt and I'm not so sure about the friends with benefits thing...I thought I could do it, but I'm not so sure.
I'm starting to look for another job. Not real seriously, but I have applied to some so I'm trying to move forward and do what I can for myself. Life has disappointed me and I'm changing; I have another perspective on life....I'm just not that hopeful anymore. Anyway, I feel like I'm hogging another's thread. Stormgirl, sorry. :)





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