It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Stormgirl :) -
You are not silly or ridiculous! I've said some pretty crazy things; many of us here have. Unfortunately love does some serious brain damage to us sometimes. :rolleyes:

I understand the mood swings. Just by reading my long thread my mood swings are very obvious in my posts. They have leveled out a bit now. I'm also sleeping better even though hes the first thing on my mind when I rise and I dream of him often. So know that there is hope. You are probably going from feeling okay to feeling angry to crying to feeling okay again...these emotions are normal. I thought I was going out of my mind! I seemed to have no control over my emotions. Now, after a month I'm depressed, angry and often irritable. I guess all these emotions are part of it, I mean he was a big part of your life and oneday boom..gone.

I don't understand how people can just cut someone out of their life. Even if they fell out of love or whatever that doesn't mean you pretend the person doesn't even exist. I just can't do that. Maybe after dating someone for a couple weeks/months..but we're talking years here and thats just not okay; regardless of his issues.

I've always been a big beleiver in "time heals". The problem is having the patience with yourself to allow time to heal. I know how bad it hurts and I know you feel like you are dying, literally. I know that your mind races "maybe its this, maybe he meant that". I know that you go to call him out of habit and quickly the pain aches in your chest as you remember "oh, yeah he doesn't want to talk to me". Oh, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy either. Time is the thing here. In time, you will realize if you two are meant for one another. If not, then in time you will heal. In time you may even get an explaination of some sorts. I know you tried because you think you and him are meant for one another. Well, now is the true test; let fate do its work, right? Sit back, try and let it go and let it fall how it is supposed to fall. The ball is in his court and you've done all you can to salvage the relationship. Its now up to him and up to fate. Praying helped me alot by the way so you may want to give it a shot.

So what are you doing to take care of yourself? You mentioned you were self destructive before you started to date him; are you going back to these behaviors? I too was into things that my ex got me out of and I have to admit I have found some comfort engaging in those things again. I'm trying my best, but I know how hard it is to refrain from going back to old ways when you crave something that gives you comfort. At first I couldn't even look at another man without getting sick to my stomach. What worked for me was getting back out there and distracting myself with other guys. None of them are relatoinship material but nothing is nicer than going back out there and getting some attention and flattering from the opposite sex. My confidence was so low after all this and I'm sure yours is too. You probably catch yourself questioning whats wrong with you or that nobody else will want you. Don't worry those are normal too unless you stay in that mindframe for too long. So that has helped me alot. Knowing "hey, theres guys out here that I can have a great time with and they think I'm hot". I'm not suggesting a "rebound", but nothing is wrong with being the single girl you now are. Maybe its too soon for all this and thats okay. You'll know when you're ready. I know that I don't have anything else to give right now and everything is about me, as it should be right now. I'm up front with the guys I meet and instead of looking for a relationship I'm just having good company and it sure beats sitting at home crying over some coward.

Anyway this is getting long. I'm here for ya, girl! Feel free to vent. I feel like I'm one step ahead of you so I can hold your hand through this dark time. I know nothing feels more comforting than knowing that you aren't the only one hurting THIS bad and that several other people, including myself are going through the same thing. Him leaving you hanging puts you in an awkward position and will have your emotions all over the place. You have to gain some control by figuring out just how much and how long will he leave you hanging. Remember its up to you to "wait" and its up to you to say "enough". Take care of yourself this weekend!
hey storm girl now youve done it now im going off on a tangent ;) let me be perfectly honest with you i wasnt the boyfriend i should have been in the past,, i didnt cheat or anything like that,,, i was 21 she was 19,, first serious,, first love,,, alof of people had told me stay away from her she is weird .etc.etc.... she is a very attractive girl and we ended up getting togethor,,, she did alot of things and acted alot of way's that she had no explanations for,, i got the {{accept me for me or dont talk to me,, and the first 2 years she did anything she could for me her world revolved around me ,,I went out with my friends alot etc.etc. didnt always bring her out,, had alot of friends that were girls,,,i was in love with this girl but to immateur to accept what ever was wrong with her which cause all the different thigns she did and the moodswings,,, so apon come a guy who is a major scumbag,, and a bartender ,, tells her everything she wants to hear and being the insecure neive person she falls for it ,, we get back to gethor and it hapens again with some other idiot,,, so then basically i confess my love explain she is the only person i se in my future etc etc. we get back togethor that brings us up to about 8 months ago,,,,, now she also went thru 6 colleges in the past made many horrible decisions etc.etc. so it was always hard for me to get close with her,,, because i was always thinking what kind of wife or mother could i possibly have here,,,,, so months ago i started doing alot of research and im coming to realize it is a disease running her life ,,,, i dont think she knows that ,,, i think she always just said this is me? when she gets stressed her body cannot handle it and she becomes a totally different person,, a immateur,, a selfish ,,, mind going a million miles an hour extremly hiper active ,, not knowing what is coming out of her mouth ,, it goes on and on,,,,i cannot stand how gullible she is when it comes to talking to other guys and what they are telling her,,,she was the most negative person around me,, and i talked to her yesterday and she was like you were always so negative around me im glad i dont have to deal with that anymore,,, Its like i cant win i did alot of things to try to help this girl,, but it came across the wrong way i more or less tried to teach her lessons but ti backfired,,,, so i am on a mission to talk to her im wrting a list of thigns i want her to explain to me ,, show her research i have ,, show her the posts in the bi-polar board,, im just afriad im going to have a hard time getting thru ,,, at the moment she is acting ,, manic which is a bipolar term and she thinks she is on top of the world ,,,becomes irresponsable etc.etc. this has happened everythime we had big break ups,,,It was just very hard for me to belive a person didnt always mean what they were doing or saying sometimes,, but we are made up of chemicals and if something in our body do not react right then the chemical is out of balance and thats where medication come's in to even things out,,,,,,,,,talking to her is going to be the hard part :dizzy: im going to do it very soon i think ?? I have alot of time invested and the times when she is "herself" she is the greatest person,,, but lately that seems to be far and few.......phewwwww im exausted :yawn:

NOW stormgirl..... i know the feeling you get everytime you talk to him,, i know how bad you want to talk to him in person and try to help him,,, but he is going to need to want the help,, otherwise its going to seem all that annoying to him even though he knows your giving your heart to him ,, he should be damn lucky to have a girl like you,, there arent many left in this wonderfull world it has become,,, i dont think he wants to lose you BUT its not fair for him to be inbetween either ,,
i do not know the whole situation ,,, BUT it seems he wants his space and the depression may be a big factor in this also? i dont know what you have said to him so far,, but maybe telling him you want to work on this togethor with him,, and if thats not what he wants,,, then tell him your going to accept that ,, then LEAVE HIM ALONE as hard as it may be dont call dont the lessa you talk to him after you have said what you wanted to get of your chest.. etc.etc. the ball is in his court and that that point let go as best a possible,,, doesnt mean he wont come back doesnt mean your going to lose him,, but you need to heal and talking to him isnt going to do that,, out of sight out of mind as best as possible,, the hurt will go away in time,,, HONESTLY thats my advice but when your in a situation its nice to hear what outsiders say but they dont know the whole situation ,,,its very easly to just tell someone something,, but they arent in our shoes,,,,,, someone once told me you have to do whats best for you !!
[QUOTE=elatedgiraffe]Stormgirl- :angel:

You are staying strong. I'm proud of you. I haven't had the best week, finally all the things I distracted myself with have caught up to me. I'm really depressed and find myself crying at night alot. The mornings used to be the worst, now the nights are. You're right you do have to experience all these things and they aren't going to go away over night. If I find the fairy that can eliminate all this for us, trust me I send her over to you. :)

My mind is really foggy and it I feel so numb when I think Christmas is 3 weeks away or that I'm in the month of December. I'm still stuck in October and feel like the world just kept on moving and I'm frozen. Frozen is the best way to describe my mental state. I'm going through the motions and just feel unable to make any decisions. Just frozen in this emotion and I feel so empty. I often don't know what day it is and its been hard for me to remember anything....sometimes I wonder if I'm slowly loosing my mind?

Anyway stormgirl I hope that you'll have an okay weekend. You'll get through this. What other choice do you have, right? Thanks for your support it means alot. I hope I help you too and don't depress you more or anything. Hang in there.[/QUOTE]

Girls....I know the holidays are theworst part of getting through a loss, whether it be through death or a breakup. Many families at this time of year struggle with such things as do people in & out of relationships. Our family is going through some troubles as well & if I could offer a suggestion that is helping me out personally....I would take this opportunity to experience the gift of giving. Sometimes we all get so "wrapped up" (excuse the pun) in the receiving end not even realizing that Christmas is the season of giving. This year our family is trying to focus on that aspect....sometimes without even realizing it we all tend to become too worldly and everything is all about us. What I'm suggesting is that you go out and find a soup kitchen to volunteer in to help out with on Christmas Eve & Day. Perhaps even find out about an elderly person who has nowhere to go and whom you can spend time with or do something such as getting food in the house for him/her. I suggest this because by doing so you will see that by helping others you are also helping yourself. We can all sit over the weekend and cry or perhaps we can get out there and offer some good cheer to those less fortunate. Ok...I'll get off my soapbox....but that is just what me & my family are going to do and I feel in doing so it will not only help someone else out but reunite us in our efforts.

So girls...dry your eyes & think of something you can give or do for others. It will make you feel good and keep your mind off of things. And if you bought a present for you ex's drop it off at a churdh for someone more worthy of it ;) Keep your chins up and know what I am saying is just a way to bring you good cheer....Goody :angel:
[QUOTE=goody2shuz]Girls....I know the holidays are theworst part of getting through a loss, whether it be through death or a breakup. Many families at this time of year struggle with such things as do people in & out of relationships. Our family is going through some troubles as well & if I could offer a suggestion that is helping me out personally....I would take this opportunity to experience the gift of giving. Sometimes we all get so "wrapped up" (excuse the pun) in the receiving end not even realizing that Christmas is the season of giving. This year our family is trying to focus on that aspect....sometimes without even realizing it we all tend to become too worldly and everything is all about us. What I'm suggesting is that you go out and find a soup kitchen to volunteer in to help out with on Christmas Eve & Day. Perhaps even find out about an elderly person who has nowhere to go and whom you can spend time with or do something such as getting food in the house for him/her. I suggest this because by doing so you will see that by helping others you are also helping yourself. We can all sit over the weekend and cry or perhaps we can get out there and offer some good cheer to those less fortunate. Ok...I'll get off my soapbox....but that is just what me & my family are going to do and I feel in doing so it will not only help someone else out but reunite us in our efforts.

So girls...dry your eyes & think of something you can give or do for others. It will make you feel good and keep your mind off of things. And if you bought a present for you ex's drop it off at a churdh for someone more worthy of it ;) Keep your chins up and know what I am saying is just a way to bring you good cheer....Goody :angel:[/QUOTE]

Goody you better not ever leave us again ;) Post like these are great for the readers and the people going through the experience. You have a gift at making people feel good and don't ever loose that ;) Thanks for that great post and I am sure they will enjoy it also.
[QUOTE=goody2shuz]Girls....I know the holidays are theworst part of getting through a loss, whether it be through death or a breakup. Many families at this time of year struggle with such things as do people in & out of relationships. Our family is going through some troubles as well & if I could offer a suggestion that is helping me out personally....I would take this opportunity to experience the gift of giving. Sometimes we all get so "wrapped up" (excuse the pun) in the receiving end not even realizing that Christmas is the season of giving. This year our family is trying to focus on that aspect....sometimes without even realizing it we all tend to become too worldly and everything is all about us. What I'm suggesting is that you go out and find a soup kitchen to volunteer in to help out with on Christmas Eve & Day. Perhaps even find out about an elderly person who has nowhere to go and whom you can spend time with or do something such as getting food in the house for him/her. I suggest this because by doing so you will see that by helping others you are also helping yourself. We can all sit over the weekend and cry or perhaps we can get out there and offer some good cheer to those less fortunate. Ok...I'll get off my soapbox....but that is just what me & my family are going to do and I feel in doing so it will not only help someone else out but reunite us in our efforts.

So girls...dry your eyes & think of something you can give or do for others. It will make you feel good and keep your mind off of things. And if you bought a present for you ex's drop it off at a churdh for someone more worthy of it ;) Keep your chins up and know what I am saying is just a way to bring you good cheer....Goody :angel:[/QUOTE]


I'm usually a giving person, have always enjoyed volunteering here and there. But I feel empty..I really feel like I have nothing to give. I'm not trying to wollow as many are less fortunate than me, but for some reason I just don't have it in me this year. I can barely make myself something to eat or clean my place, so how do I do it for someone else? I usually am able to look beyond myself, but for the first time in my life I feel like I have nothing inside to give right now. I gave so much to so many people in the past.
Hey thanks Blondie... yeah it is very ironic that we all seem to be able to give good advice, but can't take it!!! I guess we do it cause we know what it's like and don't want to see someone else go through the grief.

eightball, I think you missed the post where I said that we had spoken and I suggested that I see him so that we can talk about things, and he said he was busy that night but said that I could go over on Saturday "if I want to". But I didn't go. I guess it has all been going on for too long and I wanted to try and sort it out. I spoke to him today as well, and he seems to be very hostile and I think it is because he is under the impression that I have done something to him (eg cheated etc??). I'm not sure. He has always been very jealous and suspicious, but I really haven't done anything so I don't even know what the problem is unless he tells me. I asked him if he still loves me or not and his response was yes "unless I have done something to cause him not to" (he didn't actually say yes, but I think that is the lines he was going along). He didn't say no, so maybe that is a good sign? Or maybe he just doesn't want to hurt me by saying no. The thing is, just before this happened, he was accusing me of chatting to some other guy (which is definately not true), and when I proved him wrong and asked what he was going on about, he said that if I was innocent that I would leave him for the way he has accused me. Where is the rationality in that? Maybe he is just trying to push me away and make me make the break? I don't know, but his mind DOES seem very confused right now. I can usually read him very well after 6 years, but this time I am absolutely stumped. Maybe I should be the one to make the break? I don't think I can take much more of this. If I had ANY reason to feel guilty, I would actually feel better cause I would know what I had done and how to feel, but as it stands, I am totally confused too. I don't know, maybe I'm just making more excuses for him...

I just can't take this ***** anymore. Even my work is starting to suffer a bit.

Anyway, just thought I'd give you an update. Still - no change. Me - no change. I was a bit better Sunday, then down again, then a bit up again this afternoon. Grrrrrrrr... I am getting bored with hearing myself.

So how is everyone else? Elated, haven't heard from you... do you need a big hug??? Hope you are doing okay, if not, let me know. We need to find out what's triggering your down periods so we can try and work through them. More progress rd?
Hey Elated!!! Don't worry about hogging the thread, the more the merrier I say!!! It's good to see that you are doing okay (mind I didn't say good, just okay). You really give me some hope because you are just a few steps in front of me, and the more I see you holding it together, the more I know that I will be okay. Just wish I knew how to fast forward it all (without getting older mind you ahhhhhhh :eek: ).

Well it's his birthday tomorrow. I bought him a present today and I will drop it into his house after work. I feel nervous about it, but I'm just not the mean type of person that could just ignore it. I would feel bad. And as Wowwwweeee said, as long as I have been the best person I can be, I can walk away with a clear conscience. I would love the chance to speak to him while I am there, but I think it's not nice to speak about such things on someone's birthday (although guaranteed I will give it a shot).

I pray that it will go okay. Hopefully something good will come out of it, but I won't get my hopes up. He's had plenty of chances and hasn't taken any yet, so why would I expect him to now? Just wishful thinking I suppose. Hey Elated, or anyone else going through the same thing, just wanted to ask if you even dream about them when you sleep? I dream about all kinds of things, some I can't remember, or him seeing other girls etc etc and wake up with a bad feeling. Do you have this too? I suppose it's just because I think about it every waking minute. Grrrrrrrrr...

Any advice on how I should act tomorrow when I take his present?
Stormgirl-
I think you will feel better if you ignore any contact from him. Until he knows what he wants then he should leave you alone. Now its time for you to decide are you going to wait on him to make up his mind (if he ever does) or are you going to make the decision for yourself. That maybe what he wants, at least thats how my ex wanted it. He wanted me to make the BIG decision..this is all a guess since I really don't know what happened to our relationship.

I think your guy is using this "you've been with someone else" as an excuse to play these games. He knows darn well you haven't and if he did suspect then he should trust your word. I just think hes using this so it looks like its your fault things didn't work out, because after all you've been with someone else :rolleyes: . Another cowardly thing to do. Its either that or he wants to see how bad you want to be with him. He wants to see you plead for him to beleive you that you haven't been with someone else. Forget it. I just don't like that hes using this excuse now. Anyway, what does it matter if you WERE with someone else. He broke things off, or a break, and has NO commitment to you. Does he really expect that you'll just wait, begging him back for the next 6 months? Come on.

Last night was rough for me. I found a video tape of me and my ex at the beach. I couldn't help but watch it. I missed seeing his face, his expressions and his voice. I cried myself to sleep. It was painful, but it wasn't as painful as before. I mean I hurt and I cried, but it wasn't as much to the core this time. Maybe I'm just getting used to the pain? I just have no idea what happened...he loved me so much, or at least showed love towards me...now we aren't even talking...now its like I'm dead to him. I just don't get how someone can invest that much time into someone and wake up oneday and want no contact with them. I mean, he treated me like I did something to him..like I cheated on him or something. Urrghhh..forget it. Another day, another day.

Hang in there stormgirl. I really think once you stop talking to him altogether you'll feel better. And he'll realize he no longer has the upper hand and if he wants to speak to you then he has to be mature about it and come to some type of conclusion to all this. His little games are working because he has you right where he wants you. You can't control his actions. You can't control this situation. You CAN control how you respond to him and the situation. He can't play games if nobody is playing back..
Thanks Elated, you have stayed true to your word, and for that I am forever thankful. You are like my little angel!!! I've been trying to think positive thoughts, and have decided that New Years will be the make or break for me. He wants to do something for NYE, but I'm afraid that he will change his mind at the last minute or something. I don't trust him anymore. Or when I get there he'll be gone, hoping that it will be too late for me to make some plans (what he doesn't know is that I have a back up plan). I spoke to him yesterday, and asked him if he wanted to make this work. He responded "I don't know" - at least he answered I suppose. After 6 years together, that's not saying much for how much he valued them is it? I'm slowly pulling my way out of the rut I've been in for a while. I think New Years has given me some hope. I don't want to waste another few weeks/months etc etc. I will be 27 soon (ugh!) and want to get married, buy a house, have a family. So I really don't have time to waste on someone who "doesn't know". I'll believe that his intentions are good for New Years, but if he lets me down again.. well, no more. Especially when my head is screaming that he will, and the heart is saying no no no, he wouldn't do that. Sound familiar?

To sosad, I'm terribly sorry to hear of your pain. I've had a 5 and 6 year relationship, and let me tell you, it never gets any easier. In fact, it probably gets worse, cause you say to yourself "but I was sure THIS one was the one". I don't know how helpful I will be, as you can see, I'm struggling myself... but I will share with you some of the things I've learnt. This guy has made his choice. Yes, you did everything for him, were the best person you could be etc etc. Fact is, that doesn't change anything. He still chose to be with someone else. Harsh, yes, but it's reality. The reasons he left are invalid right now. It's not fair, it wasn't your fault, and things probably could've been handled better. The reason that this happened to you... well, because quite simply this guy is a jerk. There is no other excuse and no one else to blame. Accept all of this as fact, accept what you can't change, and move on. You can't control what he wants/does/feels... you can only control how you go about getting on with your life now. No matter how long you were together, or what plans for the future you had, you certainly didn't deserve this treatment. And you deserve much better than to be with a guy who lies, deceives, cheats. Could you imagine spending the rest of your life with a guy (whom you may love), but treats you this way. Believe me, it doesn't change. I know that it hurts very much right now, but you must believe that things happen for a reason. You two were just not meant to be... because there is someone out there who will love you much more, treat you much better, and will not hurt you or make you cry. Instead of looking back at thinking what you've lost, think about everything he's lost (because it is his loss - not yours... I wouldn't miss a liar). Instead of thinking "but we were together so long and I thought it was meant to be", just accept that it wasn't and look at it as a learning experience. Think of all the things you have learned about relationships, about what is wrong or right behaviour, what behaviour you will tolerate etc etc. Also, don't be afraid to see your own faults and say, "you know, next time I won't react to things like that" or whatever. It is now your time to grow as a person and explore the big world that has been laying dormant for you for 5 years. Get used to having just your own company, and start doing things that YOU want to do, to make YOU happy. It's all about you now... you've given up many years for a guy that didn't deserve the wonderful person you are, so now it's time to just worry about yourself. And you have to get back out there and give your life a shake... meet new people, go new places etc etc.

Well I hope that I've made sense and helped a little. You should perhaps start your own thread, because the replies you get from the many wonderful people here will truly pick you up. But, you will have bad days too. Just don't beat yourself up over feeling sad, it's only natural. But only you have the power to change the way your life is now... so what are you waiting for???!!!

Please come and share how you feel with us as often as possible and we will try to help you to get through the tough times. Don't be afraid to tell us anything, sometimes I write the most ridiculous things and no one here ever makes me feel silly... because most of us know exactly where you're coming from.

Hope to hear from you soon.... and God bless you!!! :angel:
Stormgirl-
Well you have had some progress in the past days with him, but really no answers to anything still. :rolleyes: "The I don't feel well"...man, I think we were dating the same guy. I'm not sure why you are blaming yourself for sending him that text message? He really has no reason to get mad at you because you said you don't like how hes treating you. I think it just made him feel guilty because he knows hes doing you wrong and he didn't like that guilty feeling. Hes running from himself, not you, make sense? It really comes down to what YOU want. Its obvious that hes not "certain" with any answer he gives you. And this uncertainty has been going on for months. You mention that when he gets mad he doesn't talk to you for days and that although you have no problem talking about problems, he does. Think long term (which on New Years it sounds like you were)...do you want to marry someone that can't communicate? Do you want to feel like this everytime something goes wrong? Do you ever want to know where you stand with him? I don't think that things will go back to "normal" regardless of how this all pans out. It can't be the same that it was because things have happened in the meantime. Now eventually it could be even better than before, but you can't strive for what the two of you HAD. Because its exactly that..you had that. Its in the past. You can only move on from here and develop a different kind of relationship with him or live life without him. I hate this for you. I know that your mind must be racing. Its like an obsession after awhile. It consumes you and drains every bit out of you. You have to figure this out: If he wanted you back how would you really feel? Could you look past the things hes done? Can you accept that when problems occur he'll probably shut you out? What do you REALLY want? Do you even know what you want? What kind of man will you be happy with and is he that man?
I think if you start focusing on these questions then you may have a better idea of exactly what to do with this situation and at least feel like you have a little control over it. I'm struggling with these questions right now too.

Its New Years and I feel awful. After some thinking about my "friends with benefits" situation and my past relationships I think I have some real problems. I think I'm codependent. I'm so consumed with being with someone that I don't even think I know myself anymore. I don't think I've ever known myself. Like with my ex, I quit smoking, stayed away from any recreational use and really felt like I had my life on track. But maybe I was living through him. Things I said I would never do again when I was with him I'm doing again. I thought I quit those things for me, but I didn't. I quit for him because as soon as he left I'm back to my old ways. I'm not even sure who I am anymore. I always fall in love too quick and then try to change the person to what I really want. I don't ever feel like I have a choice when I fall in love. I usually fall in love with someone I didn't want to get attached to. Someone who isn't husband material. Well, my ex could have been husband material, but something was always missing. I see that now. I'm always attracted to the bad guys. I'm almost 26 and I am so lost right now. I'm anxious and not sleeping. I spend a great deal alone to find myself, but thats not working. I don't think I've ever really loved myself. People ask me what I like and don't like and very few things I can come up with. I think for years I've always focused on relationships, rather than myself. Now I'm here at this point completely empty and confused. I'm torn between two worlds of being a party girl who doesn't care and does what makes her happy for the moment and then the girl who needs to quit bad behaviors because I know I should...I'm like 2 opposites. Its scary. I just feel really different lately. I think my head is really messed up. I may start a thread on this. I thought I had it together. I thought I knew what I wanted...but I don't. I think for years I lost out on really getting to know me. I compromise my values and beliefs when around certain people. I'm just weak. I think thats why relationships, including my last one didn't work. He was the only one I dated that I could see as a good husband, but we lacked a connection. I'm scared that if I never figure all this out then I'll never find real love. I don't think any man will want to marry me. I'm great to date...but long term people don't want that with me. Thats my experience and that makes me feel so low. Like something is wrong with me. I have no problem meeting people, but when it comes to being right for that person I never am. People have been right for me, but it hurts when I'm not right for them. I don't even know what type of guy I want. I know what I'm attracted to which is the bad boys, and then if I date a nice guy they normally don't connect with me either. OH MY GOD!! See what I mean? I'm just messed up and am done ranting. I feel hopeless and that it'll be like this for the rest of my life. I'm not going to find the "one" when I don't even know what I want. How do I figure that out? How do I find the true me? Or was there never a "me" and I've lived through other people so much that I'll never find "me" because I never existed? Sorry to rant..just letting you know where I'm at mentally. Not a good place. I've never felt like this before. I'm depressed, but theres more to it. Something just isn't right with me and I don't want to live like this. I'm not one that will have the right guy and a nice house...I've never been part of the norm so why on earth did I think I could ever have a "normal life". I'm not normal.

So what a way to bring in the New Year huh? Stormgirl I wish things were easier for you. Oneday all this you are going through will make sense. Hang in there! I'm here for you!





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:00 PM.





2019 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!