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[QUOTE=Ninispjc]Well, she's being invited to sit and watch her husband sit and make baby talk with the woman who used to sleep in his marriage bed. I don't consider that making room for the new wife at all. I pesonally would not stand for it at all. Like I said before, the wife is waiting. She's not just a part of the family, she's not just there because the family is still close to her. She's there because she still loves this guy and wants to get back together with him. Remember, the original poster said the ex told the husband she was still in love with him.
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I believe she is being invited as much as the ex wife. To that I agree, but the baby talk that takes place is the sole responsibility of the ex couple. They need to take responsibility for that themselves and that is something the new wife should take up with the husband. The parents donít have anything to do with that.

She may still be in love with this guy, but if the guy now views her as a sister, what is the risk of them getting back together? As I answered Calista, I believe it was the husband that initiiated the divorce.




[QUOTE=Ninispjc]
Uh, YEAH!! It's totally wrong for them to feel this way. Just put the shoe on the other foot. I don't know if you're married, but imagine you meet someone fall in love and make her your wife. Then you find her ex husband hanging all over her like he's still her husband at every single family gathering. You ask one of your in laws what's the deal and they tell you flat out "well, we like him better than you. We wish our daughter were still married to him instead of you, and if we have any say about it, we're going to do what we can to chase you off and help our daughter fall back in love with him and leave you." C'mon Hoop!! You're a smart guy!! Are you actually telling me you'd be ok with that??!! Not only is that attitude totally rude and disrespectful for the new wife, but it's disrespectful to the son, they are not respecting the fact that he has a new wife. Like the above poster said, there is only one position of son's wife, and right now, two women are trying to fill one position. That simply ain't gonna fly.[/QUOTE]



I can understand why you feel it may be wrong for the parents to feel this way, but I donít see why that should be. We canít force others to choose their friends or who they should like and dislike. Likewise, we canít force the parents to choose who they bond with and who they should unbond with, for reasons that are beyond their control. This is something that canít be dictated by others, especially when another party was the reason for all these problems in the first place.

I also donít see how the parents are disrespecting the son, who I believe is the cause of all these problems, not the ex wife nor the parents. Do you see the ex husband accepting any part of blame in all this mess that he caused for divorcing his ex? Does anyone put some of the blame on him?


No, I am not married, but if I was in this situation ( as the new wifeís)Ö.in all honesty, it wouldnít bother me that much. If it did, I would choose not to attend the family gatherings. I am not the type to get hung up on whether anyone excepts me into their ďtribeĒ :) I only go where I am wanted and accepted. With the stories about in-laws that float around on occasion, that my be a blessing in many cases. :)

As I said, I believe the new wife is the innocent victim in all this, but the parents are treating everyone equally by inviting them all to the family get togethers. I am just looking at this from a different point of view as I told Calista.

HOOP!
[QUOTE=Ninispjc]I guess this is the point I'm trying to make. First, the ex wife fawning all over the husband and talking baby talk with him at all the family functions, in essence acting as though SHE IS STILL HIS CURRENT WIFE INSTEAD OF HIS EX-WIFE, especially when 1) he seems to enjoy it and 2) she has made it clear she still loves him, is not a minor problem in my eyes. And exactly. Why bother getting married at all if your husband is still going to have his ex hanging around like she's still his current wife? Unless you're going to be a Mormon sister-wife and be happy with your hubby having another wife other in addition to you, but I don't think is the situation she has in mind. I wouldn't tolerate it, and I really wouldn't understand why any other self-respecting person would. I guess I just don't know how to explain it any better than that. But, since I gues we're just going to have to agree to disagree on this one, I'll just reiterate the advice I gave earlier to the original poster. Speak up, don't let another opportunity go by without letting your in laws how you really feel, tell your hubby he needs to support you more and understand your feelings more and go from there.[/QUOTE]

I completely agree with Nini. The Ex-wife is like a huge Tarantula spider, binding her time, waiting for the perfect moment to get her ex-husband back into her paws. She knows that with her current position in this family she really doesn't have to do that much because sooner or later, the new wife will snap and will have enough of this. Anyone would have a problem with this situation. That's exactly what the Ex is counting on. I don't really believe the guy views the ex wife as a "sister." Yeaaaah, riiiight. If you had sex with someone over and over again, you never view them as your "sister." Sorry. Even if the divorce was a while ago, on some level he hasn't moved on, I believe. And why on earth would he be so disrespectful to his current wife by engaging in baby talk with the ex?? That is just unacceptable. I would not stand for it either. The whole situation is unhealthy, in my opinion. Since I'm an Aries and absolutely cannot share with any other woman, it would have to be either her or me. Basically, I would make sure that she's either not invited to any family functions, or me and my husband would not go.





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