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Need some support
Nov 28, 2004
My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me a week ago, and I don't know how to cope. I haven't eaten in 4 days, I can't stop crying and don't know where to go from here. He says he needs time to clear his head, and doesn't want to be "married" right now. I know I have to give him the space he wants, but this hurts more than anything. I saw him at a party the other night, and I left pretty early, and the next morning I went to his house cuz I felt like I really needed to talk to him, and he was sleeping in his bed w/ another girl. I feel like throwing up every second of the day. That day I talked to him on and off all day (on the phone), and he was even sobbing at one point (cuz he missed me). I don't understand breaking up if you are going to be sad about it. And he very rarely cries. I just need some support right now.
Hi Sunnysun, I am going through the same thing at the moment, so I am sorry for your pain, although your situation seems to be a little more confusing. To be honest, I would not take back my boyfriend if he had been so intimate with another girl. Others may disagree, but I can understand the need for space etc etc... I have no problem with that. But I do not think that he needs to test the waters with other girls (especially so quickly) to decide if he really loves you or not. Either he does or he doesn't. I just don't think there are any excuses there (even though he did not have sex with her). After 4 years together and spending so much time together, of course he is going to miss you... it's a huge lifestyle change, but it seems that he obviously wants to pursue other people, but also wants you to hang around just in case the "grass is NOT greener". He does seem confused, but that is still no excuse to have another girl in your bed, period. But you are not me, and you may be willing to forgive him. I really don't know what advice to give, other than perhaps tell him that if he wants space and wants to behave like this, then not to contact you until he has decided what he really wants once and for all... because it is not helping you at all. He seems to be running hot and cold, but you really do not need that sort of indecisiveness and seeing these things that hurt you, because if he does decide that he wants you, you may have already put up with or saw too much and it may be too hard to forgive.

Sunny, I really hope that everything works out for you. I send out lots of warm thoughts, cause I know how difficult it is. I know that the advice will be difficult to do, but it will be better for you, and may jolt him into realising he can't have his cake and eat it too, and make make him realise exactly what he has to lose if he doesn't get his act together.

Best of luck to you, and let us know how you go!!!

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