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well here it goes! ive been on and off with this girl for a little over 5 years,, we bolth love each other,,, But we didnt have that real close bond,,, i think we are bolth scared to some sense of putting in,, she seems to have alot of insecurities,, some caused by me,,, most caused by herself,,,,,im def not perfect either ....
anyway we have split and seen other people in the past,,, we bolth broke it off with each other but had ended up making our way back,, we actually kept talking throughout the time period we were with other people,, i NEVER called her in those times no matter how much i wanted to it's just not right ,, she was the one calling me,,,as a matter of fact she is always the one asking me to hang out and whatnot,,,

I was always kind of scared to put in everything i had ,, i believe she has a mood disorder and it has def freaked me out on numerous occasion's ,,but we enver discussed it and i dont think she is even aware of whats wrong with her to some extent,,,,,now we got back togethor this last time 6 months ago, it was the first time i spilled my gut to her about how i had felt,, everything was going better than ever before,,, we were bolth starting to put the trust in and whatnot,, then we got into a dumb argument over a girl ive been friends with for 13 years ,, who is ingaged and lives with her fiance,,,she cannot stand me talking to this girl because she is extremly insecure,,,, so basically she backed away started being b*tchy like usuall, then broke up with me the night before my birthday :confused: .....and wanted to work thing out again but i coulndt take it ,,

so when we broke up she wrote me and email saying she def loves me there is not a question about that ,, and she thinks that maybe things are getting more serious that ,this could be it and it scared her,,, and she wanted to talk about it but i was soo pissed about my birthday i ignored her,,, so then she tells me she wants to keep what we have but with no title ,, that she doesnt want to be with anyone else or even casually date she doesnt want anything to do with guys right now,,,, like is said she is very isecure and seems to make mountians out of mole hills.........and i beleive alot of it is contributed to a mood disorder,,,,,

so we hadnt talked for a little over a month she called a couple of times i never called back,, i saw her the night before thanksgiving she came over and talked to me,,, then she has called me ever single day since then,, 8 days in a row,,, and asked me to go to a movie thursday night ,, didnt go it ended up getting late and we were tired,,,,,
now should i be the man and call her more and ask her to hang out or should i just let her keep doing what she is doing? I am going to sit down and have a long long talk with her and talk about things that were swept under the rug,, and tell her what she means to me,,,,,I dont think that she can be just my "friend" i personally know she couldnt handle that,, she has been jelious of soooooooooooo many girl's for NO reason..... so what is she doing?should i start making the moves and show her what she means to me? this thread didnt exactly come out the way i wanted but i think i got a general idea of what i meant to say
eightball61 yes i do beleive your right ,, about her not wanting to be tied down,, we have been togethor since she was 19 and she is goign to be 25 in a week,,, I can understand it,,I went thru it telling her i dont know what i want....I knew nothing else and i was always questioning her actions,, which scared me at points in time because i knew they were totally "normal" and some of her friends arent the greatest people either..they only know one side of the story....she has reashured me many times without me asking that she doesnt want to date or even hang out with anyone else,,,,

now she cannot handle stress at all.....esp when it comes to me she gets overly insecure and what not... she had told me many months ago friends before lovers and we kind of didnt have a great friendship,,, and she wanted to work on that before we got serious,,,, But the reasoning of why we didnt have that is either of us totally let the other one into our heads,,, we always had walls up protecting our feelings and whatnot,, we just couldnt be "ourselves" around each other......thats more or less what i wanted to have this "talk" with her,, I am almost positive about the mood disorder ,, and i know it does a toll on confusing the heck out of her head,,i was very non understanding about things in the past that she did,, and she kind of felt like she had to walk on eggshells around me ,,, as with her so called "friends" that dont honestly know anything ,, only what she tells them,,,,

this was months ago about the not wanting a "title" i,,, part of me think's the non title thing was to be able to do what she wanted and kind a feel free,, which is fine but i know perfectly well she cant handle being ***** buddies if im seeing someone else,, i would not do that anyway ,, i have a concience,,,,,,,well not with someone who i have spent five years of her life with anyway,, and i also think she said that because she wants to be a stronger person towards me.....I know she cannot let me go which is not fair,, if she doesnt want a future with me,,,,Im going to say it again... i truly beleive her illness has many factor int his ,, besides the fact that she is at that age etc.etc. But i also dont think she know's how much i care about her and want to work on this with her either,,, I guess it comes down to talking to her ?
well ive just about had it........ i just don't get it :confused: every single day,, since the eve of thanksgiving which was about a month ago... she has called me not skipping a beat not missing 1 single day and usually we talk 2-3 times a day.... have seen 2 movies since then her asking me everytime ,,and have gone out and done other things,,, and she has asked me to hang out other times also,,,,,she basically acts like wew are togethor in some ways ,, but yet i havent done anything physicall yet,,, and she has made comments like,,, i was the skinniest when we were dating so we should get back togethor so i can be skinny again,, and yesterday she made a comment like when should a girl make a move?,,, theres more im just agrivated,,,,, when i give her complements she is like you must really like me ,,,,,

then tonight we went out and she got a little drunk so on the ride home i was flirting with her a bit and she tole me to stop so i got quiet and she was like i told you we are friends,, and she said we need to be friends first,,, my impression is that she doesnt want to date anyone else,, she told me she isnt ready to give herself to anyone,,,,she asked if i still love her , and i said of course and she was like maybe we shouldnt hang out anymore,, but maybe she wants to be better friends and see how we can get along,, but it just aint that easy after 5+ years esp with a girl who was overly jelious and insecure,,, to this day everytime my phone rings and she is there she has to ask who it is,,,,,

she does flirt ,,, i know she has the feelings otherwise she wouldnt be putting so much effort into being friends ,,,,I think it comes down to the fact that she is scared sh*tless,, but i feel like im being toyed with ,,,, I know if she saw me out with another girl she would go insane,,,,,,its so annoying she has this huge wall up to protect her feelings,,, she is only kidding herself i know it well enough and ive been through it with her ,,, it just seems like bullsh*t she damn well knows she cant be "just" friends with me and her tough asct is goign to get her nowhere except me never wanting to date her again which might be the best thing,,,,,
when she calls me tommorrow if i were to say if you dont want to be with me and i dont think you should call me untill you want to be in a relationship with me she would prob ask me why im being so mean etc.etc. she always needs a reality check ,,to realize her feelings,, i dont get it :rolleyes:





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