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Relationship Health Message Board

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It sounds to me like he has his own issues. It has nothing to do with you, but unfortunately you are receiving the negative end of it. He's very insecure and he can't trust. He can't deal with not knowing what you're doing when he's not with you. What happens is his mind just starts making up all these awful things you could be doing, and that's all he thinks about. It doesn't even occur to him that you could be doing nothing wrong at all. I know because I am in the same situation but on the other end of it. I'm paranoid 24/7 about my boyfriend and I can't deal with wondering what he's doing when he's not with me. What I mean is, my brain can't think that he's doing anything other than cheating on me. It's a problem in my head. I'm different though in that I don't tell him I have these thoughts. I don't want to hurt him or make him think I don't trust him... because as weird as it sounds I do trust him and I know he's not cheating. It's just the thoughts that won't go away. He needs help, and because he's open in telling you about his thoughts, you might be able to help him. Not alone... he needs to see a therapist and possibly get onto some kind of anti-depressant. But you can let him know that this seems like an issue he needs to fix within himself and that you're there for him through the process. That may offer him some comfort. But it all depends on you- are you willing to put up with this? You've got to make that decision, on how much the relationship is worth to you. Because it's really not that he doesn't trust or love you. It really is about the negative voices in his head that he can't get past or control.
I have gotten mine somewhat under control, but it still throws me into a panic when I can't "see" every single thing my boyfriend is doing. I have a blockage that prevents me from accepting not being able to KNOW everything at all times. It's a form of OCD and it's torture.
Once again, it's up to you to decide how much you want to put up with. It won't go away on its own. Especially if it's just getting worse.

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