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Hey Justin, glad to be of some help :) . I guess the reason that I say that things might not be as bad as they seem is because I have been there. When I broke up with my first boyfriend of 5 years, I stayed in contact with him for some time into my new relationship because we had been such a part of each others life and no one really knew me better than him at the time and we had had a very strong bond (as friends). And it was comforting to know that he still cared and could still be my friend. Yes, he also hinted about getting back together, but I never initiated any of this and used to laugh it off because I knew that I had no intention of getting back with him. He was a friend only. I didn't always tell my then boyfriend because I knew it would make him angry, and it was harmless on my part so I didn't think it was a big deal. Sort of like chatting to any other friend... you are not going to run back to your partner and tell him everything that was said, you probably wouldn't even think of mentioning it, although my bf did know that I still spoke to my ex quite a bit. But I learnt very quickly how destructive this can be, as they both knew each other and would try and outdo each other with "he said this"... "no, no but HE said this".... It started to hurt my boyfriend, and seeing that he was more important, I cut contact with my ex. I think that you only need to stay in contact with them for a while before the new partner becomes the one who knows you best and you come to rely on anyway.

In saying all of this this though, this is only my story. Your girlfriends could be similar, or it could be totally different. And you're right, to hide this from you IS a betrayal of your trust. When put in a situation like this, most people would blame you for "snooping" (even accidental), although they fail to see the part they have played in it all. But I think that unless you speak to her about it, it will only eat you away... which it's already doing. Just explain how you came to seeing it, and apologise for being curious, but then explain how it made you feel. There may be a rational explanation, but there may not. You need to prepare yourself for both. If there are no problems in the relationship however, eg you have never been suspicious that something was going on, it may just be a storm in a teacup. Sorry I can't be of more help or be able to swing one way or the other, but I hope that at least I have given you a different perspective to think of it from. I really do hope that you can speak to her rationally and sort all of this out for your own peace of mind. There is nothing worse than wondering... the mind can make up some pretty bizarre ***** if given free reign.....

Good luck Justin... go get some sleep!!! :)

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