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Relationship Health Message Board

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I agree with Stormgirl's advice. She is very wise and knows firsthand how hard it is to get over a breakup. However, in this case it sounds like you're right to say you were never really together in the first place. If you are very honest with yourself, you will realize that you don't really love him, just liked him a lot and enjoyed his company. To really love someone, I think you have to develop feelings for them over an extended period of time, usually in a serious relationship. Before long someone else will come along for you who will hopefully make you forget all about this jerk. Even if you and him were still dating, remember that a guy like that will just end up cheating on you like he did to his current GF. You deserve better than that--a cheating liar like this will only make you sad and lonely, not provide the happiness and security you want and need from a BF. Try to remember this was just a short fling, and be happy that you're not trying to get over a really long-term relationship like Stormgirl. Remind yourself that he's a jerk, would make a ****** boyfriend, and that you're better off without him whenever you start to feel sad and miss him. Also, I would try to avoid him as much as possible to help you heal faster, and keep busy with friends and family who will provide the love and support you need during the holiday season.

I know it's hard to get over feeling used and hurt, but try to learn from this.
Maybe it will help you be more careful in the future about the guys you get involved with (if he has a girlfriend, he's bad news and not worth your time), and help you remember not to hop into bed too quickly if you think your feelings will get involved and leave you vulnerable. Waiting longer to get physical will help ensure that the guy is really worth your time and prove that he's interested in you for more than sex. But please don't feel too bad or beat yourself up--everyone makes this mistake at one point, and you didn't do anything wrong. Hopefully this will end up having a positive effect and teach you to be more discriminating in your choice in guys. Remember you deserve a guy to treat you well, be honest, and give you his full attention--you should never have to compete with another girl for any guy; you're worth a lot more than that! Hang in there and remember that this will get easier as time passes, especially if you keep busy and surround yourself with caring people in the meantime.

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