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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hi everyone,

It is my first time writing, and I've been longing to get feedback from people who are going through what I am, being on the outside.
I am not married but I have been dating my boyfriend who is 27 years old for 7.5 years and it was as if we were married. He was recently diagnosed with Temporal lobe Epilepsy about 7 months ago, and previous to that, Diabetes.

About 2 months ago, he made a 360 turn and told me that he was unhappy and that he wanted out of the relationship. He said that he has fears of marriage and that he would not be able to live up to my expectations as my husband. We had a great relationship and there was no significant reason for him to make that decision. His childhood has not been the best and I know that there is a great deal of resentment and anger towards parents and family. After a few grand mal seizures, he began speaking about his childhood briefly out of the blue, something which he rarley does. He also started to say hurtful things which some of the time he doesn't remember saying it. Since his last grand mal seizure, he has changed emotionally and socially. He has frequent memory loss as well. If we speak, he will talk to me as if I were a stranger, as if he doesn't remember our great relationship. He actually blames me for everything....and makes sure that I know it.

During our rough spell, he found a friend who he felt the need to confide in about our relationship. He has bonded with her ever since and now is dating her because she "understands him".

I am so hurt over this, but deep down inside I feel that all of this is not intentional, at least that is what I'd like to believe. I have recently decided to cut the ties between us because everytime he would call, he would say things that make me sad. He says that he doesn't want us to be together. I have decided to stop talking to him because he has changed so much, and I was letting this bring me so down that I needed to talk to someone professionally. He also speaks about him being a new person and I really don't know who this new person is. I also am hurt that he has rushed into another relationship with someone is on the rebound with her boyfriend.

Is this normal? Can someone just lose track of his emotions like that. Is it possible that he has forgotten some of our relationship? His family is upset, I am upset, and no one can talk to him because he gets angry.

Thank you
Shari





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