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[QUOTE=trystme]He is treating you that way because he can. He probably looks for people like you to walk over because it makes him feel superior when he makes you feel inferior. This type of person is toxic and you have to let him go. He is not a friend, he is using you for several different reasons. It sounds like the reason that you wanted him in your life in the first place is because he is a connection to your ex. You don't need any connection to your ex. Like you said, there are no answers to your questions about your ex and even if there were, why would it make it any better for you to know the answers?

I so wish that you could move on and forget about or at least put your past life with your ex in the back of your mind. You are absolutely torturing yourself and have been for 7 years.

You shouldn't settle for someone so toxic as this guy just because you have no one else to talk to. I have a hard time believing that you can't meet anyone to have a friendship with, at work, at church, anywhere? ...

As Dr. Phil always says, we let people know how to treat us by what we allow and what we don't allow. You are allowing this guy to do this to you and that is why he is doing it. We have the power to dictate how people treat us.


LOL!! Well, believe it! I hate to say so, but it's true. Thanks for the reply. Well, as I said, that's why I don't have any friends at all. It seems like everyone I've ever met, it always comes down to this. "Let me treat you like crap and dump all over you, or I don't want you around at all." I lost my best friend because, well it's a long story, but she sort of kicked me out of her life. She was really hurt because I had a boyfriend and the guy she hooked up with trashed her, then when I lost my boyfriend, when I told her he left me she said "oh, get over it." She didn't want to hear about it at all. Now to be fair, I had probably been talking her ear off about him for the last month or two because we were having problems, but then we did about a year of making plans, then her bailing, her not returning my calls for months at a time, telling me to call her and we'll go to a movie, she's not home, I call work, she left an hour ago, she doesn't return my call again for another couple of months. Finally I just stopped calling her and she never called me back. This was supposedly my best friend since we were 12. Whenever I stand up for myself, I am ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS accused of being stuck up, bitter, arrogant, selfish, or something like that. I'm just tired of seeing people walk out of my life. And as far as letting go of my ex, I really don't think I have the power to. He was the only sexual contact I've ever had in my life. I'm a healthy fairly young woman still, and still think about sex, and I can't think about it without thinking of him because he's the only one I was ever with. I miss having a hand to hold, someone to talk to, someone to just sit and watch a movie with, so badly, no, I've tried everything, and all it's shown me is that I'm never going to be able to get my ex out of my head and heart until someone else comes along to replace him. I know now that's what it's going to take. I'm simply not the kind of person who can find total contentment by myself. I used to be before I met him because I had no choice and didn't know what I was missing. Now that I do, I just can't live happily, fully and sanely without it. I'm just not wired that way. As I've said before, studies have shown that social rejection registers in the same place int he brain as actually being hit, as actual pain. That's why being betrayed or rejected feels like a slap in the face. The brain registers it as one. Being rejected by my ex the way I was, was more like a knife right through my heart. I just can't seem to recover from it. I'm a person that just craves contact, that's just who I am and that's not going to change. I guess that's why I bother with this guy. I know he's bad news, my mother begs me and begs me to leave him alone. I haven't spoken to him since last week anyway. He was throwing a Christmas party and I was going to go, but I had to work later that night and it ended up not even getting started until the time when I had to get to work so I didn't bother. Haven't heard from him since, so maybe things will wind down. But I know that if I say "I won't tolerate you calling me stupid, and quite trying to shove your religion down my throat" he'll tell me to stick it and that will be the last time I ever hear from him, so when I'm totally prepared for that to happen, I'll do what I gotta do.

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