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What would you do??
Dec 22, 2004
Ok, I THINK I already know the answer to this one, but I've been known to be way too sensitive and to overreact, so I just wanted to throw it up on the wall here and see what sticks.

Most of you may know, but for those who don't, I only had one real love in my life, but he left, and I thought it was because I wasn't close enough to the kind of woman he said he wanted. Then he shacked up with and married the exact kind of woman he said he would never ever want. Now I know I was nothing but a warm hunk of meat to him when I thought at least he was my friend. Anyway, shortly after I found this out, a member of a rock band he really loves came in to my work, and I felt sort of obligated to get this guy's autograph for my ex, golden rule, bad karma and all that stuff. I didn't want to contact him directly so I contacted a mutual friend who I hadn't seen or talked to pretty much since my ex and I split 6 years prior. I gave the autograph to him and let him decide whether to give to my ex or not. We got to talking and over the past year have sort of become friends with some benefits, but not ALL benefits, if you know what I mean. I feel bad about this since I'm really not that sort of person, but the fact that he's the only man in the world right now who seems to want me or find me attractive at all seems to turn my head. He claims to be my friend and to care about me and what I'm going through still trying to deal with all these horrible feelings about my ex and what happened, but he only seems to call me when he needs to borrow money, needs a favor or wants some benefits. But he's also very very busy trying to get his company off the ground and to get his financial stuff in gear, as well as other things. He's constantly on the go. But the last time I saw him, he brought up my ex, trying to convince me that he had cared about me, blah blah, and I said I knew he had lied through and through because he turned around and did what he did, and he asked me how I knew. I admitted that when I first stumbled on the initial information by accident, I was so upset, and feeling so stupid at being so upset, that I thought "well, if you're going to get this upset, you might as well know for sure," and so I had to find out for sure, so I COMPLETELY LEGALLY researched some public records, open for anyone in the world to see, to find out exactly what happened, so at least I would know the story and the truth, and then I could go from there. He got upset and said that was an incredibly stupid thing for me to do, that I was stupid for wanting ton know what he did after he left me, etc etc. I told him it was rude to call me stupid and he said we didn't wnat to sugar coat it. Anyway, he had been playing this silly truth or dare thing he likes to play, and I asked him if he had any relationships in his past he would like to erase like that Jim Carrey movie, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, if that procedure were real, would he want it? And again, he called me stupid, that my question showed him I was still stuck, he was greatly disappointed in me, that I hadn't learned anything from him regarding using some "tools" he gave me from his church teachings in moving on and getting over my ex. SO...my question is...do any of you have really good friends that you are so blunt with, or who are so blunt with you? Would you tolerate being called stupid, or having your actions called stupid, from anyone, especially if that person meant well? Do I have a case in feeling a bit disrespected, or am I just being too sensitive? I'm tempted to just break off all contact with this guy, since I don't have any real romantic feelings for him, and half the time I don't even think I really like him, but he's the only human being in the world I have to actually speak to and have conversations with, Maybe it's just a man thing. Maybe men deal with things differently than a girlfriend friend would? Or was I being totally stupid for researching the truth or am I totally stupid for wishing I could just delete my memory of my ex and wishing I had never known him? I guess I'm just trying to figure out what's wrong with me. Why do people feel so free to treat me like that? Or is there anything really wrong with someone treating me like this? I just don't know anymore.





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