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[QUOTE=jwl1973]Yes, cockiness or confidence. Is there a fine line? I think i would feel perfectly confident IF I knew what to say out of the blue. Just going up and introducing myself seems a bit cheesy, though maybe I'm completely wrong on that. Is just asking someone to dance right off the bat out off line or tacky? :confused:[/QUOTE]

Cockiness vs. confidence: I'm not sure I can really explain it in words. It's just an air a guy has about him, like he's doing you a big favor by paying attention to you, all he wants to talk about is himself, he brags about his great job, his great car, all his friends, if you're telling him a story or something, right in the middle of your sentence he might jump up to say hi to someone he knows walking by, "oh, I just have to tell him/her something" might have a 1-2 minute cell phone conversation and expect you to just sit there quietly while he devotes his attention to someone else on his cell phone, etc etc etc. He might go off and get you a drink, then strike a conversation with another woman at the bar for 5 or 10 minutes, then can't understand why you're not still waiting for him there with baited breath. But I really wouldn't worry too much about it. If you have a hard time talking to girls and are shy, I'd say you most likely would not come off as cocky or arrogant. I know it can be harder when the girl you have your eye on is with a big group. But I remember when I was in college I went out to a dance club with my roommate and a few of her friends, and this gul came up to the table, I think he was an acquaintance of one of my roommate's friends, and he just asked "hey, would anyone like to dance?" I was sick of sitting there all night, so I jumped up and said "yes!!" So we danced a couple of songs, we came back to the table, and he got involved in some group discussions. That might be something you want to try. Give a few of the girls a spin on the dance floor. Crack a few jokes while you're on the floor and you might be welcomed to their table, then you can get to know everyone at the table, including the one you had your eye on. I think the best way to approach it is to not be too goal oriented. I know this goes against everything we're taught as far as school and career, but when it comes to finding a partner or a date, being too aggressive can work against you. Make your main goal to just have fun and to get to know as many people as you can. Be at ease with yourself, and just have fun. I really tink that if you do this, the right girl will just sort of gravitate to you. When I first met my ex, I had my eye on another guy that I really wanted to hook up with, but he was busy buzzing around the room (it was a get together at his apartment with a bunch of his friends and a couple of my friends) and I had been sitting on the couch talking to his roommate, who I thought was cute and nice, but not "exciting enough" and I was just frustrated that I wasn't getting enough attention from the other guy. He finally called me over to the table where he was entertaining most of the rest of the people, and I looked down and he was holding hands with my friend's little sister. I thought I had blown my chance. But it turned out the roommate on the couch turned out to be the better guy for me. We dated for two years, and even though it ended, if I had hooked up with the guy I had wanted to hook up with, it wouldn't have lasted more than a week or two. Just enjoy yourself, enjoy meeting people, enjoy using your sense of humor, but remember to keep it respectful. No biting, insulting, sexist or racist humor. And enjoy getting to know people. You may find that when large groups of people get together and start talking at a bar or party or something, they're laughing and joking, then they sort of split into smaller groups if different conversations, then maybe those groups split into twos. Once you're narrowed down to just you and one girl, give her your attention while you're with her. Then when you feel you want to move on and talk to someone else, I think then it's perfectly ok to excuse yourself and go mingle some, but make sure you give her all your attention while you're with her. It is possible to chat up two or three or even four different girls in one evening and still make each one of them feel like they had your attention. Have fun!





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