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Well, We had our big talk Tuesday night. Everything came to a head because our lease renewal came in the mail, there was no choice but to face what's been going on. I was so devastated that I had to call into work on Wed. Were not officially broken up but I pretty much think thats how this is heading he even told me I could sell all my rings and put the money towards a new car and I will get one of the T.V's and DVD players the dog goes with me and he will give me some $ for the one couch I payed for. He basically feels that I'm not sure of us and that I'm not into us anymore, I told him that that's not true I am unhappy about some aspects of our relationship but I have never wanted to give up. He said he wouldn't have proposed to me if he didn't want to be with me forever we both cried all night over this I have never seen him cry before except 6 years ago when we almost broke up I know were both young still and have a lot of growing up to do we both agreed on that. I thought he had made up his mind about us but then he called his mom and told her about whats going on with us and asked her to call me and talk and the fact that he went to her with this is almost like he's asking for a mediator he never tells her anything personal, so she called me and we talked for a while and she told me that he didn't sound good at all and that the feeling she got from him was that he isn't sure if we should break up or not and that it almost seems like he needs reassurance from me that this is what I want for my life and she told him that you cant throw away 7.5 years of your life away if your not 100% sure thats what you want or need she told him that I'm like a daughter to her and that I have been since the beginning He said that we don't have anything in common and that I don't like his friends so he cant even bring me around them. That is far from the truth I like all his friends but one the girl who really seems to be trying to drive a stake between us. Then he says that other people have noticed to that I have an attitude and that we argue all the time, I would like to know who is saying this (her??). I mentioned that to another friend of ours and he thought the same thing that someone is feeding this into his head (meaning her) if you've seen any of my posts you know that I was upset that he blew me off to go shopping with her 3 times she's his best friends girlfriend and their relationship isn't very good he (her boyfriend doesn't care about her) and she likes to talk to my BF about her problems. So as I mentioned I stayed home from work and he called me at least 10 times to check on me and ask what I was thinking, neither one of us has really eaten much of anything in over 3 weeks except when we were together on XMas eve and XMas day and he kept telling me you need to eat eat someting and I just couldn't so I said we both need to eat I will make dinner tonight so we can both just sit down and try to eat and when he called later he suggested that we go out to dinner so thats what we did had a real nice dinner together but we didnt talk about any issues, afterwords he said it was a nice dinner and a nice break from talking we'll talk some more tomorrow nothing is final yet. He called me at work this morning to check on me and everytime we talk we say I love you and hug and kiss I feel very confused I dont want him to feel pressured into staying with me if thats not what he wants I dont want it to be because he doesn't want to hurt me, I want it to be for both of us. He also told me hes been distant from me and avoiding me because he didn't want to have this conversation he wanted it to go away and I don't know if thats because he's not sure or he doesn't want to hurt me. All I know is that we both love each other more than anything but maybe its not enough if you cant communicate. I told him if we cant be together because of who we are and what we are then that's just the way it has to be but if its because neither one of us knows how to communicate to the other than thats something we can work on. Any thoughts out there on what I should do?
We are still in a holding pattern I guess you could say, He's been real sweet and loving and is finally doing some of the things that I said were upsetting me. He's been taking out the garbage, complimented me on the house looking nice, he fixed my breaks and tonight were going shopping for tires, all these things may seem minor but they were neglected which in turn made me feel neglected. Everytime I got in my car it reminded me of the things that he was suppose to be helping me with, I live in the Chicago area and the roads get pretty bad here and I kept saying I need new tires and he always thought that I was exaggerating how bad they were but after working on my breaks I think he realized that I was right they are bad. With that said we have to renew our lease within the next couple of days so a decision must me made either way. I finally broke down again and asked him on New Years Eve what were doing and he said its not up to me there are two of us involved and with all the emotion were going through I dont want to make decision until we both know that its the right one and I said yes but there is no way to know whats right at this point we just have to try staying together or breaking up we wont know for a while whats right. He said that things between us lately have been great and he'd like to give it a few more days to figure out what the right thing to do is. I see the little things he's doing that he wasn't before as his way of trying, I know that relationships should just work and that you shouldn't have to try too hard, these things like garbage and car maintenance don't come naturally to him he's very used to having someone else do it. As far as us not having anything in common I don't see how that can be true, the only thing different that we do is that he goes over to his friends house and hangs out and I stay home with the dog. Usually we have friends over instead. We both want the same things in life I just don't find mudding in the truck fun like he does, We have the same beliefs, the same morals, the same sense of humor. I think a lot of the differences we have come down to boy girl stuff,he's very much a man's man and likes that kind of stuff. He's been staying home with me all the time lately and when he does go out to play poker or watch football I miss him so much, he calls me all the time to check on me and see how I'm doing. He told me that nothing is final and that we still need to do some more talking the signals are so mixed I'm real confused about whats going on, I told him that I feel that I should prepare myself mentally for anything and that this in between isn't going to work for me much longer. Should we cut out all the mushy loving stuff? How can you if thats how your feeling? Part of me wishes I could become distant but I feel like if I don't show how I feel now than it may become too late. (Sigh) I love him soo much I don't want to let go. He isn't blaming me for anything he actually is blaming himself, I told him that we are both to blame not one person, I have a hard time showing how I feel (I can think it very clearly) I didn't come from a hugging kissing family and I guess it rubbed off. I cant imagine being with anyone else, in fact there is a guy at work that just wont leave me alone and he's very cute but I have no interest the only one I have eyes for is my BF. My BF never wanted anything to do with having a GF until I came along, I was the first he ever wanted to be with and I hope that I still am. His mom still thinks what he needs is reassurance from me that this is what I want and escpecially after the proposal he needs to know that this is what I want for the rest of my life. I did tell him that I didnt want him to make his decision based on my feelings and fear that he would be hurting me and that it should be what he wants too I'm willing to stay and work on things. I also told him that if we do break up that I will survive and be ok eventually. I dont want him to stay with me out of pity. Oh and I asked what we were going to do about the lease and he said that he didn't care about that right now and that were more important than a lease and we'd figure it out.





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