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Relationship Health Message Board

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Lisa - This is just awful for you...I don't even know what to say. If I were in your shoes, I would also be suspicious, but I am naturally paranoid after having a fiance that cheated on me with my ex-best friend. I am still suspicious of Jeff even though I'm sure he'd never cheat on me.
Anyway, is there any time that Jules is home when you're not that he'd have the opportunity to be with the neighbor? It sounds to me like there is more of a flirtation going on than a relationship, but it's inappropriate if it's interfering with your relationship and if they are lying about it. People lie when there's something to hide, so he knows what he is doing has crossed the line. Friends would not make comments about nudity to each other across the back fence. And you're right, why does he need her phone number? And for him to discuss/complain about you to the woman is unacceptable. You need to let him know that you are uncomfortable with their "friendship" and that out of respect to you, the mother of his children, he needs to break it off with her. If he isn't willing to, I don't know what your next step would depends on your finances, etc. You shouldn't have to be subjected to this behavior though. Something more than a friendship is going on if one of the first things she said to you was "We're not sleeping together." I that the best thing she can say? Are they doing other things besides that? I hope you can figure out a way to put a stop to this - please keep us informed on how you are doing.
Hi Hilary , sorry if it came across that I was directing the post at you. I know you werent having a go at me :) It was a few people that mentioned about having the children with him. I honestly dont remember if it was me that posted about the money issue. He has had a problem in the past ie he is the one that goes out to work so its HIS money. But I have made it abundantly clear to him and more so since being pregnant with and having Adam that whilst he is under my roof and I am doing everything a wife would and taking care of HIS children that its not just HIS money. So yeah I may have made a post about that a long time ago. I also contribute to the household income, not as much as him of course, but probably half. I also pay the rent here out of my money. I pretty much control the finances as he can be quite irresponsible with money and we just cant afford for him to be irresponsible when we have 2 babies to look after. But in saying that he goes without NOTHING. He gets a good chunk of his wages every week and anything he asks me to get for him he gets. The more I think about it I think I did have a post about this issue. There has been that many I forget sometimes :confused: If my memory serves me right I think I was told that because we arent married that it is his money. Im not sure what the laws are in other parts of the world, but over here in Australia you only have to be living with somebody for 6 or 12 months ( not sure which one ) to have the same legal rights as if you were married. So really its not worth the paper its written on in some ways. Marriage that is ! Of course from an emotional level it means everything. It means that that person loves you and wants to commit to you and we all want someone that is prepared to do that. But legally I have just the same rights as if I was married to him. If we were to break up I am entitled to 50 % of assets and also child support. But the assets side of things doesnt really come into play as a lot of the assets in my home I already had before I was with him and what we have accumulated since being together ( almost 4 years ) we are both entitled to half each. Anyway Im probably getting way off subject here LOL Sorry if you thought I was being rude or something, I guess I directed my post more at you because I totally agreed with what you were saying to me and I thought you were really nice :)

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