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Relationship Health Message Board

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I hurt so much for you. I wish I could share some great cure all of everything involved in your shi*y sittuation, but I don't have those answers-the perfect ones.

However, I had this happen once. When my mom-yes my mom-shared the idea with me I thought I could never do it and it seemed silly and hated HER so much I only wanted to kick her....I did try it and it worked, turned out after I got him back I couldn't stand him. Yeah a little game playing, but what it really did is help me control my anger, understand the situation and also see relationships with open eyes, every angle and understand what I really want out of the realationship. Plus, I did feel better when I became a little bit of a nicer person!

Having her right next door has to be the worst. How angry, hurt, and pretty much in rage when you see her prancing around. I'd want to "bring it on bit**ch", but I don't think that would help. WOMEN are strange-we know it. We look at other women just as much as guys, we know how we think, we are competative and vindictive and petty and can't let catty issues go-ever! I our guy says :that waitress was nice...we may say "yeah, nice mustache she had too".

After things cool down a little, could you casualy make amends? Deflect it from the issue at hand and make some lame excuse about holiday stress, broken nails, back pain, no sleep..whatever and give her the impression there is no battle, it is not you against her. Maybe even try to (without obvious blame) confide in her that you guys are having a tough time and it's hard to keep a brave face and dedication in front of you little childen, who most likely know tension exsists. Confide things are stressful, but don't blame or suggest it is an affair? Throw in a compliment "hey, your a women, were the smarter sex...I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. roll of the eyes, dismissive wave and on to a few nothing improtant comments. Quick talk-it's no big deal. Few days later-ask her for help (gee, your so smart and helpful) if you can't think of anything, make up a story-hey-while you were out a guy named bill jenkins stoped and asked if you were selling a used moutian bike. I didn't give him your number, but he said he would stop back. You may be thinking NO WAY will I talk to her and NO WAY will I pretend she is not a tart and nothing but trash. I don't blame you. If you want to try this on..

Let me be blunt: can you take "her" away from "him"? I did this with college boyfriend and his "study partner". Months of anger, hurt, diggin thru his things, catty and mean and confertaions with her. I was frantic and a mess.
Then, one day I ran into her and kind of said hello and then broght up BF, but with a fake, "did you leve your unbrealla over?" I thought he mentioned it is yours, so I just put it in his bag so he could give it to you. Then I complained about his mildy woman to woman. Then changed subjects and slid in a few compliments-played dumb-asked her innocent girly questons so she could brag and talk about herself. I hated it. Three weeks later she and I talked more than my BF. She'd come to study BF and I'd show up and we'd chat and it would turn into chic stuff. Nice and friendly. Went out a few times-left BF at home-oh, and even talked nice about her to him-but with a negative note: I feel so sorry for her that she is flunking math 101, I wish I could help her-but I'm just too busy. Poor thing.

About a week of this and when your BF tires to be sly and lean over to talk to her, walk out and share in all that fun!! Bring up something you and she talked about that he is not included in. Even better, if he's naked walk up to talk to her, roll your eyes at him "ya know, can't you ever take the time to put some clothes on or something??" Turn to her.."ug, what can I do to cure him of this???!"

You will always have excuses to go over, call, join them, interupt. She may end up talking to you better. OR, she may feel she's getting one over on you.

If it would work, you can stop the effort after their little game is over and I bet they would not be buds.

Then you would just have to work on HIM-and I have no idea on what to do!

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