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If you can give me the answers to this problem....I would give you a million bucks. For those of you who want to take the time to listen to this, you just might find it completely and utterly fudged up....and maybe just maybe have the answers...

Here goes

I am now 28 years old....please help

When I was 16 I started dating Mr. B for just a few weeks. Just as I was starting to have feelings for Mr. B, I met Mr. A, I soon fell in love with Mr. A, I was a junior in highschool he was a freshman in college. We were together for 3 years and engaged to be married as soon as we got out of college. The beginning of my sophmore year and his senior year, I broke up with him. Things had changed, I had done things to hurt him. I was only 16 when we got together, and I broke up with him midway through the relationship. I was with someone else, just a one night kinda thing, anyways, we got back together and worked through that, but lets be honest, when you are 17 what are you really working through. He never completely got over it and what can I say the relationship went bad. I ended it, it was for the good, and I think we were both better off. I went directly to Mr. B, Mr. B and I were good friends throughout school and even college. B and A were friends, although not great, but still friends.

So now I am in love with Mr. B, but I will say Mr. A was my first love, my first lover, and always had a place in my heart. Mr. B was wonderful to me, he was great, couldn't ask for anything more in a person, loving, good to me, just an all around american boy. He was a junior in college and I was a sophmore. For the most part of the relationship things went well, we were together for a year and I thought going into my junior year I needed something more......something I hadn't had in years......FREEDOM. I was in the prime of my youth, i got restless and ended it. He had a very hard time getting over it, he lost weight, called non stop, had a lot of trouble...but I was dead set against a relationship.

I was without someone my whole junior year. I dated but never was with anyone one on one. I still spoke to B and even seen him around school, but nothing other than that. I didn't want to lead him on as he was still having trouble with the relationship ending.......yes for almost a year. I know this because he was best friends with one of my cousins who I was also close with.

The summer of going to be my senior year, we talked about getting back together and even spent time together......I was confused......unsure.....probably lead him on when I shouldn't have. I finally made the decision to let him go and find someone else to love him, he deserved that, and since I wasn't ready to commit to him alone I let him go.

The same summer I found someone too and this someone would soon be my husband. Mr. B soon found someone else and moved on also the same summer. Throughout my senior year of college I thought I found MR. PERFECT (o.k. I'm only 22, I now know that doesn't exist). I got married to someone 9 years older that I was in April that year.

Thought I would be attracted to someone older than me! NO, wrong, he was just as immature as I was. The second year of my marriage, we were having trouble and for some reason, found myself thinking of B, so I called him up. I found that he was with someone else and in his last year of grad school. We talked and found ourselves having a good time. This went on for about 2 weeks, then out of the blue, he said it would be better if we didn't talk because he was going to get serious with his current girlfriend and didn't think it to be a good idea, since he thought his feelings for me were strong and may interfer. I then thought well he is right, and after all I am married. I loved my husband, I just wasn't happy.

After 4 years of marriage, decided it just wasn't working. I started seeing other men behind his back, found out he was doing the same with other women. But he had done it throughout our whole relationship. I know it didn't make what I did right by no means, but the last 3 months I just needed more, but was unsure about leaving.

Before I had knew what happened I was talking to Mr. A, yes I said Mr. A, a mutual friend had informed me that he just recently went through a divorce. He had gotten married and had two children 5 and 3 and wasn't happy in his relationship and he and she recently divorced. Since we always remained friendly, I called him up, one thing lead to another, feelings came back and whammo, I left my husband, we divorced and I fell back in love with Mr. A.

It was for the best, and I couldn't have been more happy. I thought I had found the love of my life. This time around things were so much better and everything was how I wanted it. I was finally happy. My marriage taught me how to treat someone and how to expect to be treated in return. Things couldn't have been better. After two years, we got married. The children live with us, and I love them dearly. They call me mom and I call them mine.

I recently found out that the girl that Mr. B was getting serious with, he married, and just two days after I got married, I found out he was getting divorced. He is quit a successful business man and makes really really great money (money is the root of all evil). But for some reason I can't stop thinking about him and how my life would have been. I called him up just recently (as we had also remained friends) to make sure he was ok and to tell him that I had went through the same things and to hang in there. We spoke for over 2 hours. I can't help but feel guilty towards my new husband because I keep thinking about how my life could be and how good he would treat me.

My new husband treats me wonderful, but I know that Mr. B would be absolutley wonderful and financally I would never worry about another thing. I am so confused on why I am even thinking about him. I have a good life now......whats going on?

If you think this a joke, you are wrong, this all is true and I'm in a dilema and need help......advice on what I am this natural.....what should I do?

Thanks guys,


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