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Thanks Pinkmonkey,
your words do definitely give me insight into my situation...and yes, I feel like we are two pees in a pod :jester:

Well, after taking some of my mom's advice (doesn't happen often) I talked to HIS mom this weekend and she had some interesting things to say. I already know about his past when it comes to girls (how many he's been with, etc) and his mom really kind of comforted me a bit. She said that she asked him flat out what his feelings for his ex were and he said that "she means nothing to me"...and he is not one to lie to his mom. Believe me on that.....and I explained my concerns to her about him not listening to my feelings and she told me that his ex was a SUPER needy girlfriend and she was always depressed and needing cheering up, etc. my bf apparantely always felt like he needed to give her everything just to make her happy. She told me that there was a time when he probably would have waited forever for her when she moved away to school and that he was devastated that she started to date someone else, but then he got over it. Now, his mom is very honest and I knew wouldn't sugar coat things for me. She assured me that he is over her and that if they talk (she had no idea that they still talked) that it was harmless. She said that my bf was more concerned with losing ties to her family (apparantely they were cool) than he was about losing her.

I don't know, in a way it was nice to hear that from his mom, but at the same time I still think that he has feelings there, and maybe he can fall in and out of love with many more but always hold a place in his heart for the love he once had....I probably am guilty of the same, I just don't still talk to them, you know?

I also got up the nerve to ask him last night about why he gets so defensive when I bring things up that are remotely connected with his ex. He apologized and said it was something he needed to work on and he would. I mean, we were having an innocent talk about jewlery (a specific kind) and I was like "yeah, I'm sure you've bought a few pieces in your day"...I was not trying to insinuate that he bought stuff for her (yes, I know he has) I was saying that guys buy jewelry for girls, that's a fact and I know my ex's have bought jewelry for their ex's, etc. I wasn't trying to push any buttons or anything....(I myself have never received jewelry from a guy, not even my bf now)...and I was hoping that he could see that maybe I would like something (pushing my luck girls I know, but I am a hopeless romantic...oh, am I ever)....but he just got all moody and told me that I was being stupid about bringing stuff up like that. Let's just say I said my peace and didn't talk the rest of night. Maybe he will get the message today when I don't call him.

I made the jewelry comment because, let me tell you, my gift for Xmas was the most unthoughtful gift I have ever received. It was the same thing I received for another occasion a few months back. No thought in this man's bones it seems sometimes. My mom laughed when she saw the gift because she knows how romantic I am and how thoughtful I am. She said, "oh honey, your boyfriend just doesn't get it huh....I can't believe he would buy you that".. Let's just say it was worse than receiving a vacuum cleaner on your birthday. Maybe I should just get the hint that he was romantic with his ex but isn't with me, and probably won't be. That hurts, and maybe it's telling me something, that I am not as special....but then why would he still want to be with me?

Any thoughts on that?





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