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Thanks pinkmonkey for your thoughts. But, whatever happend with your boyfriend and his ex? Do they still talk and are you 2 still together?

I always want to know what is said in their conversations bit it is like pulling teeth to get any info. out of him. I hate snooping, but that is how I finally learned that they were talking all the time....I looked through his phone and at when/how long the conversations were. I wanted to know, but as soon as I found out it made me mad/frustrated/sad.

He says everyday that he loves me so much and would never do anything to hurt me...and I even told him that cheating was an automatic breakup in my book no matter how much I loved the person. He told me he would never do anything like that...I believe him. I know cheating is not the case!! The only thing is that he talks to her all the time and now doens't tell me about it. What I don't understand is that he used to tell me he talked to her or he would talk to her in front of me, and that made me feel comfortable with their friendship...because I could hear the conversation. But now, it is all secretive....why??? It is like talking to a brick wall when I approach him and he always defends her and their friendship..."get over it" he says, and I always wind up crying either silently or out loud. Is that why he hides it, as to not upset me now because he knows how I feel. for the ultimatum thing......the 2 of us went on a vacation this summer, just the two of us...and on the plane ride home she called and left a message asking him to attend her birthday celebration with her family....(just him along with her family)..I thought it was strange and I layed it on the line that nothing about that made me happy...I even started getting really pissed off at him and he finally said, "maybe I just shouldn't talk to her, is that what you want"...and I became a softy, like you too and said, no I would never ask you to give a friendship up for me....and I went on that she was in his life a lot longer...keep in mind we had only been dating about 3 months so I didn't want to seem like some overbearing, jealous girl who would come off as wanting to rule his life, it was too soon to express all my fears to him.
But now I wish I had said, "fine, don't talk to her because that would make me happy".. so now I have to deal with this and he always tells me that they are not that good of friends, that they catch up once in a while, etc.....but it is all lies because I have seen his phone.....ARRG.. why can't he just open up to me....and tell me the truth???

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