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Hi all,

I need help to understand and deal with a breakup that happened to me 2 months ago. I'll try to give you a comprehensive, very compressed view of the whole story ... please bear with me!

Here's the background:

I am now 33 and my ex-girlfriend is now 25. We started going out more than 2 years ago, until she broke up with me 2 months ago. I was deeply in love and compared to earlier relationships, I never felt so content in my life with a person. I was imagining spending the rest of my life with her and was under the impression she thought the same way. However, just a few weeks after the breakup, she started going out with her best friend, but I am still totally devastated and cannot get over it.

A little more info:

- In the beginning of the relationship, I had a lot of issues with her past (i.e dealing with her exes and with how she used to relate to men), but I got counseling and was even put on medication. It helped a lot, but I think she was always a little too aware of my issues in that respect.

- In the last year, I had a lot of issues at work and dealing with them kept me depressed for long periods of time. Nevertheless, she stood beside me and we worked through it.

- Occasionally, she would go out for a drink or so with her friends, all of them male, but in the last year she kept more and more going out with her 'best friend' back from highschool. I was suspicious right from the beginning (don't ask me why), but according to her nothing ever happend. Today, he's the one who is her new boyfriend.

A few of my questions are:

- How can she fall so quickly out of love for me and change to another person even though she pledged true, deep love to me all the time right until the very end? I seem not to be able to do that, but she is after a few weeks already in a new relationship, and according to her it's not a rebound, it's again love.

- I feel that I lost the 'love of my life', and I am completely devastated. I realize that my grieving will last a while (although apparently not for her), but for me it doesn't seem to end.

- Getting her back doesn't seem to be an option, since she kept saying she needs to move on and life is too short to work on such heavy issues any longer. I believe if you find the right person, any effort working out issues is definitely worth it.

- Should I try to take it as a very painful learning experience and try to find someone else in the future or is there any hope to be with her again. Right now, I am angry and it seems to me she is not the right one anyways, moving on so quickly (which she also did in previous relationships).

Any suggestions, recommendation, or advice from you guys?

I'll stop here and hope I could give you the gist of things. If you need more insight, I am more than willing to provide it.

Thank you!

DarkBlue





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