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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

hi dark blue. as elated knows (she sees me all over these boards!), i feel your pain. when i wasn't over my ex in two months' time, i was freaking out, thinking 'what is WRONG with me that i can't just move on?!'. and, as with your ex, mine seemed to have just moved on with his life as though i was never a part of it. feeling discarded is exactly on target. now i am four months away from it, and will tell you that i feel dramatically different. i still miss him at times, but i am now able to enjoy the most basic stuff, like eating good food, sleeping the whole night through, and so on. please promise us that you'll let your body get all of the grief out by crying and carrying on as much as you need to. you mentioned that you don't know a lot of people, so i will give you the benefit of what my friends told me. the poor darlings (along with my mother, my sister, my co-workers) had to repeat to me ad nauseum that no guy is worth this, and that i am a good person in my own right. one friend said the best thing to me: after i had gone on and on about how i missed my ex, how great he was, all of that, she looked at me and said, 'my god. he wasn't jesus christ!' that kind of put it into perspective a little bit. we as humans are imperfect. nobody deserves to be put on the pedestals we sometimes put our friends/boyfriends/girlfriends on. what makes a good person is someone who realizes that they are imperfect and tries to work on those things. it sounds like you did exactly that by going to therapy, and that she can't really be bothered to do so. you may feel abandoned right now, but you won't feel that way forever. and you sound like a pretty smart and nice guy. you are going to be more than okay, i guarantee it.

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