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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


I have to agree with the advice you've gotten so far. I think the "I saw who you really are and I don't want to deal with it" thing was just an easy out. It sounds like he's been waiting for the right fight to come along to finally say it's over. I think it would be a good idea for you to get a more objective view of what's really been going on the last 8 months in your relationship. Make two lists, one of the things you love about the relationship and that make you feel good and that you will miss. Then make another list, one of all the things that hurt you or make you feel bad about the relationship, all the things that disappoint you, all the things that have frustrated you or made you unhappy. I'm willing to bet if you're honest with yourself, you'll find the second list will be at least twice as long as the first one. The truth is, you don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. Trust me, I know in practice it's not that easy, cut and dried and black and white. I'm still helplessly in love with my ex, who in truth was probably not the best thing for me, but I loved him. He has a wife and three stepdaughters now, and it hurts like hell every day. I know what you're not looking forward to. But if he's done, he's done, and it's probably for the best. The only thing you really can do is do your best to have faith that it's over because God has something else planned for you, and do your best to go out to find it. I know right now you're at the very beginning stage of it, because his parents are telling you to give him time and see if he comes around, so you don't even have any closure now, so you're still fearing the pain that you don't even know for sure is coming. But it is something you will have to face and walk through, so try baby steps. Make your lists, be honest and take a good long hard look at the relationship. Then you may be in a better position to let it go if that's what you have to do. I feel for you, but hang in there and vent here if you need to. You'll get through it. Good luck to you. :)





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