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Hi everyone,

I would really appreciate your thoughts as I am in a bit of a dilemma at the moment. I Know that ultimately my decision is up to me but I cant help wondering how other people would react or if I am thinking the wrong things. Sorry it's so long.

I had been with my boyfriend for a blissful 16 months and had known him for around 18 months, when last week I found out that he cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship, with his ex gf. He had split up with her when I met him, from what he thought was a mutual understanding, but up until a month ago she had kept her feelings for him (she still loved him) hidden from anyone else but him. The truth came out when she finally decided to give him up and so wanted to ruin us to spite him by revealing what had happened at the beginning of our relationship. It turns out that throughout our relationship she has been doing her very best in every single possible way to try and get him back, even after being blatently rejected. He always remained close friends with her as they have issues from the past that every so often they need to discuss and only have each other to talk to about it. (he told me right away what this was, and i thought it was fair enough). But i cannot understand why he would stay so close to her if he knew she was still interested and it could potentially ruin our relationship. He always made me believe he was a really genuine, truthful bf, and I believed him more than anyone. (This is not my first long-term relationship and I am not naive enough to believe just words - I actually really trusted him. Believe me I have learnt many lessons in the past). I am just so gutted and feel so devastated that he could do this to me, and I am still in shock.

When I found out I told him it was over and that I didn't want to see him again as I do not tolerate cheating of any kind, but as much as I hate him for what he has done, I know that if I hadn't found out last week, then we had a complete chance of going all the way, as in our and everybody else's opinion we were the 'perfect couple', and I cannot help thinking that I really really don't want to give up what we had, despite what has gone on.

We were more than just bf & gf, I have never got on so well with anyone before, we could talk for hours, we always looked forward to seeing each other as soon as we possibly could -even 16 months into our relationship, and we were completely and utterly attracted to each other in every way possible. We had our own lives with our own friends but used to go out a lot together as well and always had so much fun everytime. We never argued once as we were both so similar and so laid back about life. I used to read magazines and see all the articles about "my bf does this..." and "my bf did that..." and be so grateful that for once in my life I didn't have to worry about ANY of those things because he always treated me like a princess.

But I don't know whether I can ever forgive him for betraying me in the beginning. ANd I don't know whether our relationship would be the same now if I gave it another chance. I really don't know what to do.

Anyone who has been there on either side, i would appreciate your opinions and comments as I'm finding it really hard to get my head around why he would do this to me. Thank You.

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