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Hi guys! Well I'm back from my adventure. Let me fill you in. As most of you know, my bf was not responding to me. By Monday, when I called him and left a message, he had not called me back. I had just given up. I was going to TRY to start my "no contact" from Day 1. Then Tuesday morning, he sent me a message saying that his parents had gone on holidays (we both still live at home), and that he would like me to come and stay with him at his house. I thought long and hard before replying... trying to figure out what his motives were, why he wanted me there etc etc etc. I am a bit domestically-challenged, so I knew that he didn't want me there just to look after him or anything. I decided to give it one last shot. Many people were against it, including my family, but I had to do it for myself. It was really a make or break kind of situation. And if it went bad, then I would know that I had given my all, and I could walk away with absolutely no regrets. I hoped it would be fantastic, but my suspicion was that I would be hugely disappointed. I was in for a shock.

I got there, and found the person I had fallen in love with. He was caring, attentive and made a genuine effort to see that I was happy. He even went to great pains to set the table attractively for me. He cooked for me, fussed over me, and made an effort to spend alot of time with me (I wasn't totally useless this whole time... I helped clean and got up early to make his lunch for him everyday!!!). He knows that it upsets me that he spends so much time on his computer playing games and ignores me, so even when he did use his computer (which he only did a couple of times in 5 days), he would continually come out to where I was reading or watching TV to see if I needed anything or that I was okay. After so long, he even started up again his ritual of telling me he loves me just before he dozes off to sleep. I lost some of the uptighness that I seem to cling to. And I felt happiness again... the first time in a while. I feel like after all I've been through that I am in a better place, and maybe he does too.

I wasn't sure if things would go back to how they were once his parents got home. I have only been back to my home now for a few hours and he has called me already to see what I'm up to and to tell me he loves me. I know that it was only for a few days, and that anyone can make an effort for a few days. But he really did. We didn't have the big "talk", because I wanted to see how things went without me having to tell him how I felt or how I thought things were wrong. Maybe in a few days. I just want to gauge how he reacts to things now.

I don't know if I am doing the right thing, but it feels like it. I don't know if it is going to work out or not. I don't know if we can overcome our issues. The love is there, but I don't know if we have enough of the other ingredients for longer term happiness. I just don't know. I want to see how things go for a couple more days and then have the "talk", because there are alot of things that I need to know, and I want to re-open the communication lines. The only thing that really bothers me, is that other people, especially my mum, are against it. My mum is really angry with me for going to see him. She won't speak to me. I do understand that she doesn't want to see me hurt, but I was hurting without him anyway. It's the one thing that makes me question whether I am doing the right thing or not. I know that sometimes people on the outside see things from an unbiased perspective... but do they know all the intimate details? All I know is that I needed to see how things went. For myself. I can't spend my life doing what makes everyone else happy because they think it's the right thing. If I'm right or wrong, I had to find out for myself.

So that's the latest. It's still a bit up in the air, but it's a start. I know a few good days does not make a relationship successful. But I saw a glimpse of him that I haven't seen for a long time and that others don't really get to see. Does that mean anything? What do you guys make of this update after all that went on before?

Anyway, it's nice to be back amongst friends... I've missed you all!!! As always, any advice, comments, criticism is most welcome. Thanks for reading, and I hope that everyone is okay and doing as well as possible.





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