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I recently moved out of my apartment that I've shared with my boyfriend for nearly a year now. The reasons include:

**his bad temper...not clearly abusive but extreme (won't talk to me for long periods of time, has thrown something once or twice, said things like "you really know how to *&%! things up") and inappropriately controlling (has gotten angry at me for being clumsy and tripping, for drinking coffee, for misunderstanding him in ways that make me seem spacey).

**his inappropriate relationships with other women. As far as I can tell, he's never physically cheated, but he flirts with women online pretending to be single, has invited other women out dancing while leaving me at home, almost never mentions he has a girlfriend when he meets or talks to new women.

**his constant teasing. I'm the kind of person who likes to joke around and wrestle and be playful with my boyfriends. However, my general rule of thumb is never to make fun of someone for something that I think is a real problem of their's or something that they may be sensitive about (whether I think they should be or not). He makes jokes about things he's gotten mad at me for in the past (my clumsiness) or things that I've let him know I feel insecure or sensitive about (like having and ample tush).

**his workaholism. I've always worked a lot, so I didn't really see his working a lot as a red flag. However, he works to the point that he rarely gets enough sleep and that I have to organize my activities around his very little amount of free time.

I've raised all of these issues in the past and he's agreed to work on them, said the right things, and told me how much I meant to him. However, he basically acts like the "perfect" boyfriend for about a week and then reverts back to teasing, taking me for granted, and being self-centered.

So I left last week and went to my sister's house, taking all my clothes and personal items with me. He's been e-mailing and calling me very distraught. He promised to go to therapy, and made an appointment. He wrote up a plan for self-improvement and sent it to me so I'd see that he understood.

I'm holding firm on not living together. However, I'm tempted to stay connected, talking and meeting up every so often to see what happens once he starts therapy. I've never had anyone say they were so sure I was the one for them.

If anyone had the patience to read this whole long post and has thoughts or similar experiences, I could use some advice about staying in touch, making a clean break and moving on, what to expect, etc.


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