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Relationship Health Message Board

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Well, the fog is back. I see why its not a good idea to see ex's. It was a very bittersweet night. He still looks like crap but said that I look a lot better. Everything went real well almost too well. It felt like it did when we first started dating and I didn't like how much I liked it..if that makes sense. I told him that I liked the idea of being friends but realistically didn't think it would work. He of course said that he wants to be friends with me and that it was so nice to see me again and the he was excited all day about it. He kept saying "It's nice to see you" He told me he missed me a lot. At one point I got up to get a drink and he pulled me on his lap and held me for so long and I could tell he didnít want to let me go and I didn't want him to. It was so nice to be touched again he rubbed my back and caressed me the way he used to and It was so nice to be able to smell him again I love the way he smells I could tell he was smelling me too when I was on his lap. We were a lot more affectionate that I was expecting more so now than when we were together. I know part of it was because we were both horny and we acknowledged that we were but did not act on it. He said to me when he was holding me "I hope I'm not being inappropriate I don't want to mess with your head" I said no your not being inappropriate it feels really good to be in your arms again and this is why I can't see you anymore and pretty much just let it end on that note. I did hug him goodbye but no kiss he even said this is the first time you're leaving that I can't kiss you. He didn't show any signs of wanting to get back together I didn't really expect it but part of me wanted it of course. He called me this morning and told me again it was nice seeing me and wished we could do it more often and that if we did it wouldn't be as akward.. I don't agree I think it would be harder on me if I keep seeing him. He said that he only got about an hour of sleep last night because his mind was spinning with everything. When I was still living with him and sleeping in the same bed I could tell he wasn't sleeping much because he falls asleep instantly under normal circumstances and snores like a bear but with everything going on he isn't sleeping at all. What do you think that means? He can normally turn everything off and sleep but now he can't and I can tell by looking at him heís not. Donít guys usually get over these things quicker? It doesn't seem like he is, he's lost soo much weight and the bags under his eyes are huge and he's drinking nightly. Do you think he could still be doubting his decision? Shouldn't he have come to terms with it by now it was what he wanted? He did tell me this morning that he's been lonely and that's why he's been going out a lot. Maybe thats why he was so affectionate with me? He's just lonely. When we were eating dinner he stared at me a lot and same thing when we were at his place he just kept looking at me intensely boy that hurt a bit feeling him looking at me like that. Don't know what to think? I know I can't have him but I wan't him soo soo bad.

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