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Relationship Health Message Board


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Is it possible to just fall "out of love" with someone? It seems like such an odd thing to comprehend, but I don't know anymore.

Me and my g/f have been together over two years now. There haven't been any "climactic events" so to speak that would break us up, but lately it just seems like I don't feel the same around her. The only way I can really explain it is that things don't seem to click like they used to. I'm almost 21, she's also 20.

The thing that's most odd to me is that it doesn't feel like anything has really changed between us, yet I'm gradually feeling less and less attached to her. When we kiss I don't feel the same "zing" that I used to feel, and it seems like things have become so routine that it's mind-numbing at times. To kind of get out of the tedium I've been hanging out with friends a lot more lately and it's really been good times, but it doesn't seem like it's helping things much as far as me and her are concerned.

It gets to the point some days where we'll pick at the smallest issues with each other until they turn into full blown arguments. We hardly ever used to argue with one another and generally get along great, but lately it seems like another day, another argument. Is this just a phase? Or could it be signs that things are going downhill? It seems like things have been this way for more than a few weeks now, and I can't honestly say I'm happy with how things are.

Am I just insane? I know that after a while (especially 2 years) relationships can become a bit mundane at times and take much more work to keep going, and I'm not expecting to still be in the so-called "honeymoon phase" any longer or anything, but do things get this bad regularly in long-term relationships? Does it sound like I'm exaggerating? Do couples regularly go through phases like this, or could this be signs that things are starting to go downhill?

Also, [I]can[/I] people fall out of love? Or is that just some excuse people make to get out of a relationship? I'm starting to feel that I love her, but that I'm not "in love" with her. I guess I'm just scared. You know someone for so long and they're such a large part of you, and then to know that things might not work out like you thought is definitely frightening. But it's more frightening to think that I'm with someone out of fear of being alone or hurting that person.


Also, what do you guys think about the whole "taking a break" concept? I've talked to a few of my best friends about it, and they both pretty much said the same thing which is that if you need to take a break from the person, it probably means that things are slowly coming to an end. I've also taken a break before in a previous long-term relationship due to feeling smothered, and it ended a couple months after we got back together. :confused: any input would be appreciated, whether good or bad.





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