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[QUOTE=cinting]Thanks for all the advice. Now I have another problem. I dated a guy from high school for about 8 yrs, would be 9 but broke up a couple of times. Anyway I was really close to his whole family, I still love them to this day. I was a daughter to them and I don't talk to them now but I found out that my ex's dad died yesterday. I want to go to the funeral to show my respects to someone who was a part of my life and who I loved dearly. My bf told me that if I went that I would never talk to him again. I wouldn't even be going by myself, my sister and mom are going too. Is that bad?[/QUOTE]

Let's see...your boyfriend first gets angry with you whenever he thinks about the fact that you dated an older man before he even met you, and uses it every now and again to make you feel bad about yourself, just in case you forgot what a sleaze you were to consider dating an older man. Then he says he will end it with you no ifs ands or buts if you, your sister and mother go to the funeral of a dear man who treated you like a daughter. is that bad? Umm...I'd say it sure ain't good. I asked you in a previous post that if he freaks out over this dating an older guy issue, what else is he going to fester and be controlling and unreasonable about, but I didn't expect an answer quite so soon! I guess it's really your call. I see women all the time who claim to love their man and say they don't know what they would do without him and then they tolerate all sorts of behavior that I would find totally unacceptable. Maybe everyone has their own threshhold. So I guess you have to decide for yourself whether this guy is worth sacrificing so much freedom for. Personally, I wouldn't do it. Personally, I think I'd tell him to take a flying leap. But there may be things about him that you haven't told us about that make him worth skipping this funeral and worth being badgered periodically about something in the past that can't ever be undone, and worth whatever else he gets stuck in his craw. I guess the real question is, does he really truly make you feel happy more often than he makes you feel frustrated, stifled, controlled, smothered, sad, angry, depressed, etc etc etc.





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