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Relationship Health Message Board

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[QUOTE=Kay33]I think your just terribly lonely.[/QUOTE]

Could be. I'm not sure if I hate myself, or if I just hate where I am. I mean, I can love myself till the cows come home, and think I'm the hottest thing in the world, and that I deserve to have every man on earth drooling after me, but that doesn't make me feel any better about the fact that so much of my life has gone by and I don't feel like I even got to live. I want love, I want companionship, I want sex (don't mean to be too graphic, but c'mon, let's get real!) and never got to have any of that. So of course I'm devastated at losing the only chance I got to have all the things I think make life worth living. I just feel so darn ripped off. And just so unbelievably angry that my ex is happy with someone who has all the qualities he didn't want and from what I hear doesn't treat him as well as I did, and that he wouldn't sleep with me but had no problem sleeping with her, and she messed up her first marriage and God gave her my ex not even a year later, and 7 years later, God still wants me to be alone and heartbroken, and He won't send me someone to love. I'm just so mad about that. The thing is I DO feel I deserve more than that. I feel I DO deserve to have someone love me, and to hve a second chance to love someone, and know what it feels like to have sex, and to have companionship and love, and it's just a hot dagger through my heart to know that the universe and God disagree, and tell me every day that They don't think I deserve it. But anyway, regardless of whether it's low self esteem, self-fulfilling prophecy or whatever, I appreciate the pep talks, guys.

But back to the subject of the thread, and as it relates to lisa24, lisa, I think I can relate to how you feel. If you truly are comfortable with how you're currently dealing with things, then I'm not going to try to change your mind. But I will say that I agree that if you truly love someone, you love them forever. I still love my first "boyfriend", as much as you can have a boyfriend at 12, and I still love my ex, Shaun Cassidy, Rick Springfield... :D Anyway, I don't think that loving someone that you can't be with means you must exhile yourself to a life alone to be loyal, if that makes sense. But I also know that the heart wants what it wants. I hope I'm not making you mad or frustrated, lisa. I get it, I do. It's better for you to have loved. But you just never know what life holds in store for you.

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