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[QUOTE=Dream0n83]I think he will be able to. Becase he hasnt ALWAYS been this way. That is what im trying to get everyone to understand. He hasnt always been the guy out drinking with his buddies and stuff.

I admit, I too drink w/him a few of the times he's drinking too. But over the past weekend, he went out a like 3 or 4 nights with his co-workers and that was just unusual to me. So now that I said that he's an ultimate alcholic is what some of views are saying. and i dont agree.

I use to be his main priority. He always wanted all of his free time w/me, and I did w/him. Then he started getting invites from co-workers and he's to busy. Ugh I donno. Do you think if I asked him in a round about way "if you had to choose me or beer which would you choose" do you think he would be offended?[/QUOTE]

I agree with the other posters, though I don't think the label or definition of alcoholic matters here. The question is: does his drinking cause pain and/or problems for people he cares about? From your posts, it is clear that his drinking has upset and frustrated you on several occasions. That's not OK just because a lot of people you know drink--this is about him and you, not 21 year olds in general. Sophia is right about your BF's maturity level--there are very few 22 year old guys who are ready to settle down and put their relationship before having fun, their friends, etc., and your guy is clearly not one of them, at least not at this time. If you used to be his #1 priority and no longer feel that that's the case, that's a big sign that he's not ready to settle down yet. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but you should be aware of where he's at in terms of commitment. Obviously you're going to do what you want to do with regard to this relationship, and I think you should follow your heart. But please take a break from your kneejerk reaction (to defend him) and stop to think about what everyone here is telling you. I would strongly suggest reading the responses, especially at the end, of julia girl's most recent thread. Here is part of what I said there, which I think also applies well to your thread:

If you have any doubts about his feelings and commitment or feel that you are doing more than your share in the relationship, it's not the right relationship for you in the long term. Hillary is so right that we all deserve partners who worship us and work hard to make sure we never have to question their devotion. So many people here say, "but I'm sure he loves me! This is the best relationship I've ever had!" They don't understand that if guy isn't treating you like his queen, like the most important and precious thing in his life, like the best thing that ever happened to you CONSISTENTLY every single day, then he's not good enough for you. So many women make excuses, look only for the good in their men, try hard to make things better, feel that he would be more loving and respectful if SHE improves herself, when the real problem is that these guys just aren't that into them (to borrow from the book). Any man can say the right things and buy the right things to make a woman feel loved and well-treated--this doesn't prove anything, as many women who have been burned by this can attest. A man's actions, throughout each and every day, are the clues that really show whether or not he loves a woman the way a soulmate and husband loves his wife. We deserve nothing less, and Hillary is totally right that we as women should never settle for a guy who gives us anything less than EVERYTHING we need and want from his love and companionship.





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